Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her column “Ask the Coach.”
I have three teenagers and to be honest with you, I am about to kick them out of the house. I love them with all my heart but these kids are driving me insane. I do not know if is because they are in those awful teenage years, but they are intolerable. They complain about everything, do not feel like they have to follow instructions, and also think that they can make decisions about their lives just like that without even consulting with me or their dad about what is right or wrong. They are very independent kids, but they are still kids, which mean that we get to make the decisions for them. They are having a hard time dealing with this and continue to try my patience. I already told them that until they become 18, I get to make the decisions for them. Am I doing the right thing by establishing rules for them and expecting them to follow? Or should I start giving them the opportunity to make their own decisions?
R. I. O.
Dear R. I. O.,
Oh… our good old teenagers! We cannot live with them, but, at the same time, we cannot live without them. Who would have thought that such cute babies would turn into such strange creatures? I can relate with what you are going through because I have three of those rare creatures at home and believe me when I say that there have been days when I seriously though about giving them away; but I never did it because I knew that I was going to miss them. The suggestion I can give you is to start giving your teenagers the opportunity to start making some of the decisions and see how they manage the task. If you see that they are responsible kids and can be trusted with making intelligent decisions, start allowing them to take charge of their own lives (under close supervision, of course) and see how things turn out. The truth is that at this stage of their lives you should not have to make all the decisions for them because if you do, you will be preventing them from learning how to take care of themselves. Remember; soon they will leave the house and start living like adults. Why not giving them the opportunity to start behaving as young adults under your own roof and see if they know how to do it? But, one thing that you need to make sure they understand is that, at the end, either they like it or not, you and your husband still in charge and if they make bad decisions, they will be held responsible for it as any other adult would in similar circumstances.
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