Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her new column “Ask the Coach.”
I am the mother of two amazing teenage boys, who are the love of my life, but who are basically driving me insane. They are going through a phase in their lives in which everything I do, is not up to their standards. They don’t like the way I cook, the way I clean, and have insinuated numerous times that my parenting skills may not be appropriate for their personalities. I am telling you; I am getting to the point of planning to move then out of my house (Not really; but sometimes I fantasize about it). Bottom-line is that I do love my children, but I can’t stand them sometimes. Is it wrong for me to feel this way?
An Almost Insane Mother
Dear Insane Mother,
What you are experiencing with your teenagers right now is something that, I am pretty sure most parents of teenagers are experiencing as well. Honestly, I think teenagers need their own secluded side on a house until they can be considered part of the “happy people world” again. I am joking but, don’t you feel like that sometimes? I know, I do. On a more serious note; what you are going through is very normal and no, there is nothing wrong with you feeling that way. When kids reach that weird stage of their lives in which they feel like they are not kids anymore but not adults either, their frustration starts to show in many different ways and ganging up against their parents is one of those ways of showing the desperation and unhappiness they feel with their current “life situation.” My suggestion for you is to have a nice talk with them and explain them how you feel. But remember; you are still the parent and the adult, so it doesn’t matter if they understand where you are coming from or not, they still have to respect you and respect your house rules. Never let them feel like they have the power on the situation you guys are facing, or that you are somehow “defenseless” to their “temper tantrums.” If you do that, they will take it as a green light to manipulate you whenever they feel like it. Stay strong, but also make a point of listening to what they have to say. You will be surprised of what a little chat with them can bring into the situation. Good luck!
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