Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her new column “Ask the Coach.”
I have been married for 13 years to a wonderful man. We have three beautiful children ages 10, 9, and 6. Once we started having children, I decided to stay home with them. I love being with my children, and staying home with them has given me the chance to be a better mom and a better wife. The problem is that now that my youngest child is getting ready to go to school, I had decided that I wanted to pursue a teaching career. I want to get out the house and start working again; make some money, and meet people. When I shared this with my husband, he immediately said no. He thinks that I should stay home all the time and even suggested that we should have another kid so I could have something to do at home. Can you believe this? I don’t want to have any more children. I want to have a career and do sometime else besides being at home all day. Am I being unreasonable here?
Let me start by saying that having children is a wonderful experience, but also a decision that brings a lot of responsibility with it. Bringing a child into this world just to have something to do at home is a very irresponsible thing to do. Your husband seems to me like a very controlling man, and I commend you for standing up for what you believe in and not allowing him to rule your life the way he wants to do it. You already raised three children and if you decide that you want to pursue a career on your own, he should be the first one supporting you; not the one trying to prevent you from doing it. You need to have a serious talk with him and express your points in a non-emotional way so he can see where you are coming from. This is your life and even when you are sharing it with him, that doesn’t give him the right to treat you like an accessory. If pursuing a career is what you really want to do, I will say… do it! Don’t allow other people to influence in your decisions; especially when all you want to do is to do something better for yourself. If he can’t support you and continues with his line of though, I guess there will be bigger decisions for you to make. Think about the things that you want to do that will make you happy, and go for it. Good luck, my friend!
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