Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her column “Ask the Coach.”
I never thought I would be writing to anyone about this issue that I have, but I just cannot stand it anymore. My husband is obsessed with Facebook. He spends hours and hours on that site and even when I have expressed my frustration to him, he continues doing it. This issue is getting so out of control that he is even postponing some of the things that he needs to do at home just so he can spend more time “playing” on that site. My friends have suggested that he may be having a cyber affair and that I should do something about it. I do not know if that is true or not, but they got me all concerned now. I have tried to log into his Facebook account but I have not had any luck because I do not know his password and to be honest, I feel bad doing that. What should I do with this little cyber problem that I have?
First of all, you need to stop trying to get into his account. That is not healthy for you and can bring you more problems than actual solutions. The fact that he is on that site a lot, does not necessarily mean that he is cheating on you. It probably means that he enjoys doing it. Or, it could also mean that he is, in fact, having an affair. Who knows! But, the issue here is that before you start jumping into conclusions, you need to have another chat with your husband to explain him how his “addiction” to Facebook is affecting you. Bring that into his attention and see if he changes his behavior. If after talking to him, he continues with the “addiction,” then I guess it will be time for you and him to have a deeper conversation about the whole situation. If he is continuously neglecting his responsibilities as a husband and as a father, and after talking to him, you confirmed that he is not having an affair, then he may have to go and see a professional because his behavior may be an indicator that he is suffering form an internet addiction. Just talk to him and see if you can get him to stop playing with Facebook for a while or at least not as much, but if he does not pay attention to your concerns or if he continues doing it, then push him to go and get some help because he may need it.
Would you like to contact “The Coach” for a quick advice? Send her an email at firstname.lastname@example.org