Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her column “Ask the Coach.”
My daughter is turning 16 in couple of days and as her sweet 16 birthday gift, she has asked us to allow her to get a tattoo. My husband thinks that is okay, but I completely disagree with it. She is too young to be doing this and I do not think that it is appropriate for a 16-year-old girl to do this kind of stuff. She is upset at me because I said no to the whole tattoo idea and blames me for her not being “cool” enough. I am not sure where all this is coming from, but I definitely do not think she should be allowed to do this. How can I deal with this situation without sounding too controlling or making myself look like I am the bad person in the picture? My husband wants nothing to do with this and is telling our daughter that if I say yes, then she can do it. Can you believe this?
The Anti-tattoo Mother
Dear Anti-tattoo Mother,
I have to say that I do not like the way your husband is running away from the situation. I seriously think that he needs to stop being a chicken and start helping you deal with this. In the meantime, I have to say that I strongly believe that as a responsible mother, you are making the right decision. Your daughter is only 16 and she is not mature enough to handle a situation like that. Getting a tattoo is a very serious decision to make because once she does it, it will stay with her forever, and a 16 year old should not be allowed to make a decision that she may end up regretting later on in her life. I know that your daughter must be very mad at you, and the fact that she is a teenager makes things a little more dramatic. I know, because I have three teenagers at home and I know how they react to things like this. If you want to make peace with your daughter, my suggestion for you would be to have a nice chat with her and explain her why you think that getting a tattoo right now is not a good idea. She needs to understand where is that you are coming from. When talking to her, you also need to listen to her and see where is that she is coming from. After having the conversation, see if you guys can compromise about allowing her to do something else instead of getting a permanent tattoo. You will be surprised how far you can go by compromising. It has worked for me and I am pretty sure it will work for you, so give it a try and see how it goes.
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