Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her column “Ask the Coach.”
My mom who is 81 has been behaving a little weird lately. The crazy part about her behavior is that one day she is good and the next day, she acts like she forgot who I am. I contacted her doctor and she said that she may be in the early stage of dementia and that we need to take her to her office so she can run some tests. I am super concerned with all this, but I need to know what is going on with my mother so I can give her the support that she needs. The problem is that my sister, who has not been around my mom for almost 10 years, has decided that she wants to take our mom to live with her and disagrees with me taking my mom to see the doctor. She thinks that by doing that, we will be putting a lot of stress on my mom and that we should be thinking about making her last days a more enjoyable ones without involving doctors. I think she is being unreasonable. Is she right about all this?
The Concerned Daughter
Dear Concerned Daughter,
I am not sure why your sister is refusing to seek medical help for your mom and would hate to speculate, but I think that you should stand your grounds and take your mom to the doctor. If your mom is presenting these symptoms and her doctor already told you that something does not seem right, it is your responsibility as a daughter to seek medical advice so she can get the help she needs before is too late. My suggestion for you is to talk to your sister again and explain her why you think is very important for your mom to go and see her doctor as soon as possible. If your sister really wants to make your mother’s last days a more enjoyable ones, she needs to start thinking about what is best for your mom and not for her. Dementia is a serious condition and seeing a doctor at the first signs of it is very important not only for the patient but also for his/her family. That being said; go ahead and talk to your sister again and see if you can make her understand the importance of this situation. If after talking to your sister, she continues with her same line of thought, then I guess it will be time for your to seek legal advice to see how you can deal with the situation according to the laws that protect your mom as a possible disabled patient.
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