Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her column “Ask the Coach.”
My husband is getting ready to retire. Because of that, I have moved back home with our children to start getting everything ready for our new life as a retirees. Everything is going as planned with the exception of me having a hard time adjusting to the “civilian” life. We spent 20 years in the military and to be honest with you; that is all I know. Now, here I am; trying to fit in a situation and a community that has nothing to do with the military. I am seriously having a hard time adjusting and to make things worse, I have no one to talk to about this. I miss my friends, my old house, and everything related to the military life. For the past 10 years, we were looking forward to this day and now that the retirement day is here, I feel bad about it. Is this normal?
The Ex-Military Wife
Dear Ex-Military Wife,
Yes, I have to say that what you are going through right now is completely normal and soon, you will start to feel better about the decision that you guys made. The truth is that you spent 20 years in the military and leaving all that behind is hard to deal with. I know that changes are scary sometimes, but you need to keep going and embrace those changes with a positive attitude. I am sure that after a while, you will start enjoying your new civilian life and things will start to look better for you. What I would suggest you to do is to get out of your house and start meeting people so you can start building a bond with your new community. Is it going to be easy for you? Probably not, but think about all those PCS moves that you had while in the military. How did you manage those? Well, see this new move as one of those PCS moves and do exactly the same things that you did before. Civilian life has its advantage; just have an open mind about the whole situation and do the best you can to adjust to your new reality. You will see that, in no time, you will have that connection with your new life as you did when you first started your military wife career.
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