Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her column “Ask the Coach.”
I am the mother of four amazing kids. I love being a mother and honestly, I wouldn’t change it for anything in this world. The issue I have is that my kids argue all day long. They are constantly fighting between them and it’s becoming annoying. I have tried putting them in time out, taking their electronics away from them, etc. but they still do it. My husband doesn’t think it’s a big deal, but I do think we should do something about it. It really seems like they hate each other. Sometimes, the arguing becomes so bad that I have to get between them to make it stop. There have been many occasions when I have to go out of the house to do stuff and I am afraid that if I leave them together in the house, they may harm each other. Is this normal? Or, could it be possible that my kids do hate each other?
I think you are worrying too much. No, I don’t think your kids hate each other. They are just being kids. That’s what kids do, but if you are really concerned about the whole situation, what I will suggest you to do is to make an appointment with the school counselor and see if he/she can lend you a helping hand. Maybe if the counselor could talk to your kids and see if he can identify what is going on, you will have a better chance to deal with the situation in a more direct way. I am not suggesting that you are not capable to deal with the problem yourself. What I am saying is that sometimes kids react better to other adults’ advices than to their own parents. Try that and see if it works. Another thing that you could try is to have a family reunion and discuss the issue as a family to see what the kids have to say about the situation. During the meeting, express your concerns to your children but also make a point of listening to their concerns. Maybe by doing this you can also identify areas that all of you may need to improve to make the situation better not only for the kids but also for you guys as well. Remember; communication is the key for better human relationships; and yes, direct communication it’s a great tool to use when dealing with children.
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