Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her column “Ask the Coach.”
Couple of years ago, I had a boyfriend whom I loved with all my heart. He was the best man I have ever met in my whole life. We were together for eight months and one day, after I had too much to drink, I cheated on him with one of his friends. It was a very bad situation and since I knew it was wrong what I did, I confessed everything to him. Long story short; he broke up with me and never spoke to me again. The last time I saw him, which was two years ago, he told me that his heart was completely broken and that I was the caused of it. I tried to apologize but he said that he was never going to forgive me. The problem is that I am still madly in love with him and all these years that has passed since we broke up, I have been missing him like crazy. I also found out not too long ago that he became friends again with the guy who I cheated on him with. Apparently, he forgave him and they are good friends now. I want him back but he wants nothing to do with me. My question for you is; how come he was able to forgive his friend but not me?
Ammile from Colombia
Dear Ammile Colombia,
I have to be honest and say that even when you confessed to him what you did, you still did a very bad thing. You cheated on him with his friend and just in case you have not realized it yet, yes; that is a very nasty move. Of course he is heartbroken and of course he does not want anything to do with you. And, you want to know why? Because you cheated on him, my friend. I am sorry if I am being too hard on you but, dear; you deserve it. You cannot go around hurting people and expect them to forgive you. I honestly do not know why he forgave his friend and not you; but maybe the fact that he probably loved you and cannot believe you did something like that to him has something to do with it. If you really love this man, what I suggest you to do is to try to talk to him again and explain him how genuinely sorry you are for what happened and see if he finally forgives you. If he does forgive you, you need to make sure you never do something like that again because if you do, he may never forgive you again. On the other had; if he does not forgive you, I guess it means that is time for you to own up to your mistakes and move on with your life.
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