Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her column “Ask the Coach.”
My husband is in the military and he has just told me that he is deploying soon. I cannot stand the fact that he will be away from me for all those months, but the truth is that I just realized that there is nothing I can do to stop him from not going. We have been married for two years and as much as I have tried to get used to this “military life” situation, I have not be able to do it. Sometimes, I feel like asking him to get out of the military, but the problem is that he loves it so much that I feel bad about asking him to do something that I know he will regret for the rest of his life. I love him but I do not think I can handle this life anymore. Why being a military wife is so difficult?
The Desperate Military Wife
Dear Desperate Military Wife,
Let me start with this; whoever told you that life as a military wife was easy, definitely lied to you. As a military wife myself, I can tell you that you have become part of not only an interesting way of living but also a very demanding one. Living the military life, especially for the spouses, is not an easy task to accomplish. It will require a lot of patience, understanding, and good communication with your spouse for you to be able to successfully survive it. Unfortunately, deployments are very common in the military and either we like it or not, the service member has zero control over what happens during deployment time. The truth is that this situation puts a lot of pressure on the service member and that is why the spouses need to be very understanding. I know is not easy for you; believe me, I do know because I have been in the same position that you are right now. But, you need to be strong and support your husband as much as you can. You chose to spend the rest of your life with him and even when you did not know what you were getting yourself into, you know now and if you want your marriage to work, the only thing you have left to do is to show him your support by standing strong during these deployments. On the other hand, if you think the military life is too complicated for you, then you will have to analyze what is that you want to do and make the decision that is best for you.
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