Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her new column “Ask the Coach.”
I think I am falling in love with my wife’s best friend. She is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my life. I have known her since the moment I started dating my wife when we were all in college. I always had a small crush on her, but never paid too much attention to it until couple of months ago I started having dreams that involved her and I having sex. I have never acted on this crush, and probably never will. The thing is that now, every time I am near her, I can’t stop thinking about the dreams, and because of that, I get very nervous around her. My wife has started to notice this and asked me if there was something wrong. I don’t want to tell anyone about this, especially my wife because I don’t want people to start getting the wrong ideas, but this is driving me insane. Should I tell my wife what’s going on? Or, should I just ignore it and not make a big issue out of it?
I believe that, as long as you don’t act on it and start having an affair with this person, you should just let it go. Dreams are dreams, and if you keep them as what they are; just dreams, you should be okay. I don’t think you should tell your wife because all you are going to do it to disturb her peace with things that are not even real. Just try to ignore the fact that you have dreams with this person and see what happens. If these dreams continue to bother you, I would suggest you make an appointment to see a relationship counselor to see if these dreams are the reflection that something isn’t working properly in your relationship. Once you do that, you will have a better idea of what is that your dreams “mean.” The important part here is not to stress over this and not to allow it to ruin the friendship that you and your wife have with this person. The truth is that isn’t her fault that you are having weird dreams about her; unless, she is doing something to trigger those dreams and the nervousness you are experiencing around her. If that’s the case, then I will say… run to the other way as fast as you can before you get yourself in trouble, and tell your wife. She may want to know what her friend has been up to.
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