Do you ever dream of making changes in your life but feel like something is holding you back, but you’re just not sure what that is?
We’ve all been in that place. Whether it’s leaving our job, asking for a raise, negotiating more flexible work hours or saying no to an endless request of our time from other people. We dream of changing a situation in our life. We may even make a plan to do it.
But then it happens.
When it comes time to taking action, to make the changes, we stop dead in our tracks.
It can feel like we have lead in our shoes.
We just can’t seem to start moving forward. And if we do, the first time a challenge comes up it’s like we hit a brick wall and give up.
If you’re nodding your head right now, I get it. I’ve been there.
I put my dream of starting my own business on hold for years. I came up with excuses of why now wasn’t the right time. Other times I would distract myself with something else saying this is what I “should” be doing.
But that all changed when I discovered my Passion Blockers.
It felt like the invisible thread that had been holding me back for so long was finally cut. Once I did this there was no more holding me back and I started finally creating and living my dreams.
So what are Passion Blockers and how can we overcome them?
There are four primary Passion Blockers:
Passion Blocker #1: “I told you sos” (Limiting Beliefs)
These are the beliefs we have about the world, other people, life and ourselves. We develop them over our lifetime from what we are told by others.
For example a limiting belief many career women experience once they become moms is that they will no longer be as valuable in the workplace if they follow their desire to create time to spend with their children. It’s something we are told by others whether it be our family, colleagues, or the media. We then believe this to be the truth.
Limiting beliefs only serve to hold us back and keep us stuck in our lives.
Passion Blocker #2: “Life Repeating Itself” (Assumptions)
Assumptions have more power than the first Passion Blocker. They have actually happened to us. It is not just something we have been told by somebody else. We assume because it happened in the past it will happen again.
For example maybe our past boss was very unsupportive and critical of our desire to create flexibility to better balance work and life. We assume our new boss will be exactly the same. So we never request flexibility in our new job and continue to feel stuck and trapped.
Our assumptions stop us from trying simply because we assume if it happened once it will happen again.
Passion Blocker #3: “I know best” (Interpretations)
Interpretations are how we perceive every message, every event, every action, situation or experience in our lives. What we do is make up a story, often looking for evidence to support it, and believe the story we are telling ourselves, is true.
And we interpret everything.
For example, we see stories in the media of high profile executive moms who seem to have it all together. Their career, plenty of time with their kids, happiness. The truth is we don’t know what their lives are really like.
However we interpret that to be a successful women and mom we need to be able to do that too. And if we can’t, we interpret that as we are weak, not good enough or that something is wrong with us.
Every time we make an interpretation and see only one way of viewing a situation we begin to limit the opportunities we see or can create in our lives.
Passion Blocker #4: “I’ll keep you safe” (Our Gremlin)
Do you ever find yourself criticizing or judging yourself for not being a good enough mom, better at your work, or for not being able to handle the juggle of work, being a mom and the other responsibilities you have?
That’s your Gremlin.
We all have our own personal Gremlin. It’s designed to keep us safe. It tells us never to take a risk, not to try in case we fail and to always take the safe road.
Most of all it tells us to compromise our life by keeping playing small. Our Gremlin is most afraid when we start to try and play big and make the changes we desire in our life.
Do any of these Passion Blockers ring true for you?
If so the first and most important step is to get familiar with your own personal Passion Blockers.
When you feel yourself holding back from taking an action or making a change you want in your life listen closely to any thoughts or feelings you have at that time. These are your Passion Blockers speaking.
As soon as you begin to recognize your own Passion Blockers and how they are running your life you give yourself the power to change them.
What’s the biggest Passion Blocker you have faced in your life?