When you accept the role of bridesmaid, excitement can fade as you learn to navigate the tricky terrain of bridal expectations. Hopefully, the bride leaves little room for guesswork. Just in case you need some help, here’s some advice to ensure you walk through your bridesmaid duties with finesse.
Be Present – Once you accept the offer, be there. Go to every shower, party, fitting, etc. You could have declined, but since you accepted, be the support the bride needs. I get it. I’ve been in situations where the events seemed to pile higher each day, and it can be overwhelming. Go, anyway.
Cover costs – Sometimes the bride covers costs, and sometimes she doesn’t. Know that all expenses related to you may be your responsibility including the dress, shoes, hair, makeup, jewelry, etc. I know it may not be fun to pay for a dress you’ll never wear again, but you can always donate it to Goodwill, right?
Step Up – When you see a need, meet it. Some brides are less organized than others. Pay attention, and step in when you can to lend a hand. There is nothing like a wedding to bring out both the best and worst in people. Make sure your best shines through. You’ll see plenty of bad, but don’t let it come from you.
Complain – This is not your wedding. You are allowed to think about how differently you’d do things, but keep it to yourself. Use this time to take mental notes if necessary, but don’t verbalize complaints. You don’t have to like any of it, but once you’ve accepted the job, you should be flexible and positive. Trust me. No one wants to hear it anyway.
Again, I get it. Some brides are more detailed than others. During one of my bridesmaid experiences, complete uniformity was required. I felt ridiculous with my high up-do, fake nails, and matching jewelry. I smiled, and let it go because that’s what you do. It doesn’t matter if your personal style is violated. We’re talking one day. You can do this!
Misbehave – You are there to support the bride. Period. This is her day. Don’t behave in a way that draws unnecessary attention to yourself. The bride doesn’t need to worry about putting out fires. If you don’t like her brother or another bridesmaid or her soon-to-be husband, keep it to yourself and smile.
Disappear – Don’t plan big events around the wedding. An important member of my wedding party moved the weekend of my wedding, and I felt kind of alone in my rush to get things done. If possible, try to put off time-consuming projects until the wedding is over. It won’t last forever. I promise.
When you find yourself overwhelmed by the duties of being a bridesmaid, stop and take a moment. Remember to enjoy the good. Dismiss the bad. Try to make the best of it, and focus on why you agreed to be a part of this special moment in the first place.