What is a Domestic God?
Me, I’m a Domestic God! I have fulfilled all my duties, responsibilities and obligations and have fairly earned the title of Domestic God. A Domestic God is a man who takes sole charge of running a household including, but not limited to;
- Grocery shopping
- And any other humanly possible task performed for the family to keep some form of order and sanity.
So basically, I’m a fairly young guy who’s a Homemaker! The Domestic torch was passed to me after I was forced to medically retire because of an accident and eight surgeries that almost killed me. Although this is not how I envisioned my life turning out, I must admit that I’m pretty damn good at it. Because of my disability, I have had to learn how to morph certain tasks and duties to fit my capabilities and I have had great success with that. I have also been part of humbling and educational mishaps that are both funny and frustrating. Welcome to my world and all the nuances that go with it. Get ready to live, love and . . . laugh!
Laundry and the bra-headed dog!
I quickly learned that doing laundry wasn’t just throwing the clothes in the machine and pressing the “on” button and I also found out that my Yorkshire Terrorist Chewie has an addiction problem. He’s addicted to clean laundry, folded or not. I’m not sure what it is about the laundry, but when I dump the clothes on the couch and start to fold them, he always jumps up and burrows underneath them. On one such day, Chewie burrowed as usual and unknown to either him or I, put his head through the strap of my wife’s bra. What happened next can only be described as a scene out of an award winning comedy skit or movie.
The chase is on!
Chewie has very sensitive hearing and during a commercial on TV, the sound of a buzzer/doorbell went off and well, he did too. Chewie flew off the couch, hit the floor and took off with the bra still attached to his head. My cat Deeko had the misfortune of being in just the right spot when Chewie jumped down and the surprise scared the heck out of him so he took off towards the kitchen. Of course the bra-headed dog Chewie gave chase to him with one cup clinging to his head and the other flapping behind him. On the way to the kitchen, Deeko somehow managed to run through a plastic grocery bag on the floor that I had put there earlier to put some books in that I was going to donate. So now Deeko is scared beyond words and is wildly running through the kitchen with a plastic bag trailing behind him like a parachute. Let’s not forget that at the same time he is also being chased by the bra-headed dog Chewie who in turn is now being chased by . . . ME!
The slingshot escape
I couldn’t believe what was happening and what I was witnessing, but I had to do something quickly before my house ended up in shambles. I ran into the kitchen and just as Chewie ran by me I forcefully stepped on the straps of the bra which stopped him in his tracks causing him to be tossed out of that thing like a cannon ball from a slingshot. He slid across the floor and ended up gracefully coming to a complete stop. My cat Deeko was still freaking out because of his new plastic bag parachute accessory so we played cat and mouse for a minute or so before I was able to grab the bag, pull it backwards and off his head and shoulders finally ending the bra-headed dog dilemma.
This is just one of my many new and exciting adventures as a Domestic God and I’m sure there will be plenty more on my new path of discovery so don’t forget to look for all my upcoming articles about the life of a Domestic God!