In the yonder days of my corporate life, I lost me. I pushed aside insecurities and fears by developing a professional persona of who I thought I should be in the titles that I let define me.
Long hours aligned my life to the needs and demands of an always hungry corporation – and I bought into the game of letting it drive my life in hungry pursuit of the next promotion. This duo-driven hunger for more, spiraled a crazy cycle.
It was in this hunger that I allowed a persona to evolve – a persona that fit the mold of what I thought I should be. A persona a bit drunk on title and prestige. A persona that somehow conveniently forgot other pieces of me.
But what was missing in that persona was significant. A much softer and deeper side of me existed. My heart longed to make a difference. I was squelching my intuitions, my passions and values in a soulless existence. I was living in motion, without purpose.
My heart was calling.
I got the signs, but in the pace of life I was living, I couldn’t hear it. The inherent soul messages were hushed against the drive. I let the to-do’s define me. My what-I-did made up my self-worth. My title gave me life. Ah, but I was on a journey to discover that was not who I am. I was much more complicated, diverse and wonderful than that surface level persona that I had so carefully crafted.
When I finally stopped and listened to my heart – I began to remember. I remembered the soulful me that loved to play in passion and boundless positivity. I remembered the little girl fed by nature’s energy and the breath of a horse or the kiss of a puppy. And I found the ME who had a calling and a purpose.
When you’re in that spiraling crazy cycle of being drunk on title and professional strife, it’s hard to hear that deeper calling. The wild side of this, is that you probably can’t recognize that you’re in this state! Here are seven warning signs that you might be a little drunk on your title!
1) All of your conversations – no matter who they are with – revolve around your work. You live in the problems and the characters and the drama from sunup to sundown (and even in your dreams).
2) You meet someone new at a party and introduce yourself as a ___ at [such-and-such company]. With a prideful swell of the chest, you recite a well-thought out description of what you do, ah the dreaded 30 second commercial… and where does it go from here? Deeper into work stuff and nowhere interesting!
3) You make yourself available 24/7, 365 days a week! There’s no way you can disconnect when the weekend comes or while you’re lying on the beach, because you’re so important to the outcome, they couldn’t possibly do it without you!
4) While you’re reading a book to your children, to-do lists are popping up in your head. Oh, and those to-do lists are showing up in your dreams also!
5) Your spouse speaks the language of your company’s jargon, as if it’s normal.
6) The last time you saw your best friend and did something you both love was six months ago.
7) You don’t even know who you really are at your very essence – that inner child who dances within wanting to come out and play!
If you said yes to more than two of these warning signs, perhaps it’s time that you took a soul vacation! Turn off and tune out the noise. Hike in nature on a hillside or on a beach. Take time to notice the birds. Play with your spouse, your kids or your best friend. Open up your heart and listen.
I believe your heart and soul are awaiting this perfect moment to dance!