There are plenty of awesome vegan food products on the market today, but it often takes a lot of experimenting with new items to weed out the good from the bad, and to see whats worth your money and what is not. Unfortunately, these next 5 products were barely edible, tasted horrible, and are definitely not worth your hard earned money! If you don’t believe me, you can try them for yourself… but don’t say I didn’t warn you.
1.) Simple Truth Organic: Meatless Griller Strips
These Meatless Griller Strips by Simple Truth Organic (Kroger brand) are the worst meatless product I’ve ever tasted! They didn’t even make it onto my plate. After trying a piece while cooking, it went straight to the trash. I’m not kidding! This is how awful they taste! These strips have the most unappealing appearance, taste, and texture of any vegan meat alternative I’ve ever tasted. It was literally like I had fried up some rubber. If I were to chuck this product at a wall, I wouldn’t be surprised if they bounced back. Do yourself a favor and forego this meatless product when you see it marked down for a dollar or two. There is simply no sale big enough to do this product justice. I guess that’s what I get for trying to get more bang for my buck.
2.) SOL Cuisine Meatless Chicken
SOL Cuisine offers three different flavors of their meatless chicken– Smoky Chipotle Tinga, Ginger Lime Teriyaki, and Tangy Korean BBQ. Naturally, When I found SOL Cuisine Meatless Chicken for the first time, at my local Whole Foods market, I was excited to find a meatless chicken product that I hadn’t tried before, and eager to buy a bag despite its high price ($6-8). With high hopes for the new product, I swallowed my pride and invested in 2 bags: Opting for the Smoky Chipotle Tinga and Tangy Korean BBQ, thinking they would go great in a stir-fry or in the spicy tacos I often make on a weekly basis. Unfortunately my excitement for this new product quickly vanished as soon as I took it off the stovetop and tried my first bite. Trying lots of faux meats, I’ve had my fair share of weird textured products, but this one really takes the cake! Flubbery, and cardboard like, it even looks weird when frying in the pan. Both the Smoky Chipotle and BBQ sauce for the two products I tried were overpowering and too tangy for my personal taste. I haven’t actually tried the ginger lime teriyaki, but after the disappointment of the other two SOL products, I don’t think I’ll ever get around to it. Don’t waste your time with this chicken, its not worth the high price, as its serving size is rather small for what they expect you to pay, and its flavor is best compared to a piece of plywood.
3.) Go Veggie! Dairy Free Mexican Style Shreds
I’ve had some good Go Veggie! products in the past, but this is certainly not one of them. Perhaps the most hilarious thing about this product is its tagline, “Never settle for mediocre melt”. Do yourself a huge favor and take its advice, but know that this product is less than mediocre, its flat out gross! Upon sprinkling these dairy free shreds onto enchiladas, I realized that the bag contains a Parmesan type cheese mixed in with the shreds, which is kind of weird. I lost my appetite as soon as I pulled my usually beautiful and delicious enchiladas out of the oven, because these Mexican Style Shreds made them resemble cafeteria food. The cheese melts good but it looks so unappetizing that I basically had to force myself to take a bite. These shreds do have a cheesy flavor, but its not good. The cheese flavor is overpowering and off-putting, it tastes nasty and cheap. Its powdery and has a horrible rubbery, melted texture. It also leaves a nasty residue in your mouth. While its “melt” might not be “mediocre”, everything else about it sure is.
4.) Ian’s All Natural “Cheesy” French Bread Pizza
I know what you’re thinking– “What? A vegan french bread pizza?” If it seems too good to be true, then it probably is. I was very disappointed when I got these pizzas home and popped them in the oven. Like the Go Veggie! Dairy Free Mexican Style Shreds, they were covered in shredded vegan cheese and a weird Parmesan type powder. I took one bite and threw the rest away. Seriously guys, I wouldn’t feed this to my worst enemy. The crust tastes like crispy cardboard and the cheese is so powdery it makes you cough. I’m surprised I didn’t choke to death on this terrible combination of cardboard and powdery residue. The cheese shreds stick to your teeth and have an awful, slimy, sticky, texture. The pizza looked, tasted, and smelled like cafeteria food and the sight of the cheese is one of the most appalling things I’ve ever seen. Even the pizza sauce tasted cheap and gross.
5.) Vegetarian Plus Vegan Kung Pao Chicken
We found this Vegan Kung Pao Chicken at Whole Foods and were so excited that we somehow justified paying the $8 for it… huge mistake! The “meat” was chewy, and the sauce was very sticky. It also had chunks of chili peppers in it that were so hot and chewy, they weren’t even edible. Talk about having stomach problems after this meal. This product is anything but a plus.