“Charlie Brown, if you got an invitation, it must have been a mistake.” Rats!
I thought I’d heard everything, but here’s a new one. Have you heard about this? ‘You’re not invited’ wedding invitations!
So, here’s the deal. You know someone who’s getting married. Maybe a lady at your office or a guy you play poker with or someone you know at church. The wedding is pretty much all these marrieds-to-be talk about these days. And they constantly engage everyone around them to talk wedding plans day in and day out. What happened when they met with the florist; how much all of this is going to cost; how mom-in-law-to-be is ruining the wedding. Come to think of it, their wedding is really all you’ve heard them talk about for the past half a year or more. And why not? Why, it’s going to be the most chichi affair of the decade!
Now it’s getting closer to the date. Just about time to send out those wedding invitations they know everyone around them is positively dying to receive. The suspense … it’s killing you! You’re on the edge of your seat … you just can’t take it anymore! When, oh when, will I receive my ever-so-sought-after invitation?, you wonder. Then it happens. You get home one afternoon from work, you open up the mailbox … joy! You can’t help squealing! It’s here! My invitation is here! You open it. Hey, wait a minute. What in the world is this?!
Why, it’s an anti-invite! That’s right … anti-invite. (You know, like anti-Christ.) It’s like a wedding invitation, except we’re writing to tell you that you’re not invited. Please do not show up because we don’t want you there. You’re not important enough to us. You can go pound sand.
Yes, this is the latest wedding trend, my friends … anti-invites. Cards (or emails) sent to tell you the happy couple does not want you at their wedding. Un-invitations, if you will, from people who think their wedding is all you’ve been thinking about, dreaming of, and living for ever since they made that big announcement. That’s right. Just like those invitations to the Peanuts-ville social event of the season, Violet’s yearly Halloween party, there were two lists … one to invite and one not to invite. The only difference? These people were inclusive enough to let you know you were excluded. Unlike Violet, they meant to send you a card. It’s just that your card anti-invites you. Aren’t you simply devastated? Whatever will you do?
Wedding anti-invitations … obviously the latest in the bridezilla wedding trends. This ridiculous practice is something that never would have come about if not for the gargantuan pride, the smothering arrogance surrounding us these days. Like so much of what’s going on in this age of self worship, Narcissus would have been proud.
So what’s the next trend? Invitations to your divorce? Keep it up, and you might just have a B-list longer than your dress’s train filled with people looking forward to that one.