Have you decided you are not having children? Would a child not fit into your life right now? Or in your future? I have pondered these questions many times myself. On one hand, my life does not seem to have room for a child right now. On the other, I cannot bear the thought of never seeing my own eyes looking back at me from my daughter’s face, or holding her hand as we walk through the park, or sharing my love of reading and writing with her. But the only good reason to have a child is to want to give another human being, a human being that is a part of you, a chance to live freely, to become who they are meant to be and make a difference in the world.
These are three simple reasons why children are not in my future:
The most obvious is age. There comes a time when a woman’s body will no longer produce children. An aging body does not rule out adoption; however, raising a child while being the age of the average grandparent is not my ideal scenario for having children in my home. I want them to have an energetic mom who can play with them as they grow.
My dream is to be a world-renown author of novels filled with intrigue, magic, drama, romance, suspense and hope. Two years ago I began building that career. In order to succeed I must give my entire focus to writing. I would not have the time to give that a child would need to grow up in a loving home.
3. My Desire
Right now I know my desire for having children is not what it needs to be. I want to see a mini version of me and have someone to share my hobbies with. But for me, that’s not enough. I will not have a child unless I am ready to raise her then let her go to be who she is.
As a girl I dreamed of having six children when I married. I was one of six from a family with Amish heritage. Large families are the norm in an Amish community. I planned on being married around the age of 23, the perfect age in my opinion. I secretly planned to outlast my mom who married at 25. I am now 33, far past the secret goal of 25, and still not married (but I am dating a wonderful man). As my 20’s passed, I realized I might not get my six kids. Then the realization slowly dawned on me that I may never have children. However, one never knows what the future holds, and I am not one to say no to fate. If children come my way, I will embrace them with all the love I can muster; and with a small smile on my face, I will quietly tuck away my doubts into the far recesses of my mind.