Anyone who has ever worked in a daycare knows that despite being one of the most fun jobs out there, it is also one of the best forms of birth control.
While children can be adorable and fun, occasionally they can also be tiny terrorists that will change your life. They quite literally come into the world screaming. They continue on from there to keep you awake all night, dirty up all the cute things you buy them and generally just change your calm, easygoing life into a crying, screaming, poop filled few years.
Of course, they do eventually move on from the yuckiness of it all and grow into small people who can talk. While this might seem like a sweet thing, in reality it can be a real problem. You see, children despite looking innocent enough, have no sense of right or wrong; it is all up to you to teach them.
Meanwhile, as you try to lead a small person down the right road, they will say anything and everything that might pop into their head. That includes things that might offend, hurt or destroy people. This stage, despite being less poopy, is more emotionally hard. Be too tough on them and they will grow up with mommy or daddy issues, but be too soft on them and they will behave as spoiled brats. It is a very thin line you must walk.
All through their sixth through eighteenth years of life you will constantly be pushing them to go to bed on time, wake up on time, do their homework, play outside, eat their fruits and vegetables, and go to school.
Once they turn eighteen they are officially an adult, you no longer have control over what they do and when they do it. You just have to trust that you have raised a decent human being. And whether you did a good job or not, you still can’t guarantee you have made a good person.
As much as I love children, having one makes for a messy, tough, long eighteen years, and it just isn’t for me.