Time was when women were thought of as these frigid little things who had to sneak a self-help book just to learn how to fake an orgasm, much less achieve a real one. And before those good old days women wouldn’t be caught dead with such a book, and there wasn’t as much orgasmic sex as dutiful tolerance, or so we were supposed to believe.
In one ignorant fell swoop Washington Post columnist George Will changed all that with his June 6, 2014 op-ed when he stated that when it comes to college campus sexual assault “victimhood [is] a coveted status that confers privileges to students.”
By the time you finished reading the column a new sexual revolution was afoot, at least according to George, where women, especially college-age women are just begging for it.
Just as in the old days, and no doubt with respect to George’s opinion, the truth of what women want lies somewhere unreachable by simple anecdote. Surely, women have been active and even eager sexual partners for, well, forever. And no doubt some have been impeded by the “good girl” notion of society that suggested that there was something dirty about sex and certainly something dirtier about enjoying it.
The middle ground between the accusatory opinion of George Will and where the sexual revolution currently finds women today may in fact, be a bit difficult to gauge, and for that I give Mr. Will some room for wrongheadedness. There is still such a thing as a female who has “a reputation”. And men who consistently disrespect women are still known by some animal name or another; perhaps as unevolved, the Neanderthal.
But, George Will would have you think the coed is the Lolita of rape, and were it not for her fetching ways or loose behavior she wouldn’t be in the mess she’s in.
Maybe what was old should become new again.
No means no: That isn’t just a quaint saying. It’s the law. And if a woman is too inebriated to say no then the response is negative by default. And, let’s not admire women who leave it all hanging out, sometimes literally – drinking to the point of drunkenness especially in the company of people you barely know. No sexual revolution I’ve ever heard of (and I was a 60s and 70s child) allows you to abdicate common sense and safety for a good time.
But, rape is not about being overly provocative or even drunk and the insult to women that Mr. Will penned with this suggestion might garner, in person, another old-fashioned remedy called a slap in the face.
George Will would have us think that rape is a 50-50 proposition and that two parties being equal, or equally drunk, somehow give new meaning to the term nonconsensual sex. Sorry, guys, and George, but sexual assault is not a balanced act and the onus will always be on the aggressor and the one physically capable of perpetrating the act.
Let’s be clear about the difference between a woman who falsely claims rape as revenge- the date goes badly, or the next day the guy turns out to be uglier than thought the previous night: Most of the time law enforcement, and friends, can see through that falsehood and it’s always unfortunate when it happens.
Sexual assault is a whole other animal that involves a victim and a criminal. Period.
I remember the lessons drilled into my brother’s head as he grew from boyhood to manhood, much of which involved respect for himself as well as whomever female he was with. And, no matter how much progress you’re making with a particular damsel it can all come to a screeching halt and you just have to walk away, or turn over and pout.
My Dad endlessly lectured us girls about keeping our reputations intact and what guys really want more than anything. The consequence of unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases is not the least of it.
But the courage to say ‘this happened to me” should not be mocked by men like George Will who are well equipped with excessive personalities and a vocabulary and media outlet that makes that flaw all too obvious and convenient.
Stick to being a bloviating conservative, George. It’s a much better fit for you than being any kind of expert on women or sex.