Hi, I’m Amin, and this is the thoughts of mine when analyzing that I had on what I did and what I learned from what I did. And I hope to answer me question that I think many other might also be dealing with. I would really just like to get to the main point right from the beginning. So the question that I will be struggling to find the answer for is “What are the best ways that you can react to the person you like and manage to find your place in their heart?”
So first of all, it’s really important to go for the person that you honestly like. Not like just hitting on that one bitch that may look hot to you and makes you feel like ……. whatever! It might work out if you go and randomly ask her out but that is nowhere close to what a real relationship is. So make DAMN SURE that you like the person, and she or he is not one of those type of people that I just mentioned.
Secondly, when you really know that you have an eye on a good girl and you really like her, then you need to forget about it. That’s right, you will need to forget about the fact that you like the girl. Thinking about liking her will make you nervous. It will make you react different than usual, you don’t know what to do, what to say or trust me you won’t even know how to sit when she’s around. That’s why you shouldn’t think about liking her when she’s around. In that way you can be yourself and you won’t be playing a role the whole time. Otherwise it will look so awkward and not the way that it should be.
Some say that you should just tell the person that you like him or her right when you felt that you do. Well I’m not entirely agree with that because it might just be sudden feeling that might just go away after a while. So what I personally do is that I wait. I try to be better friends with the girl, to get to know her better, sometimes showing her that I like her by certain actions of mine. But it should be noted that if the girl likes the guy too when he is doing all this, she needs to give a few tips to the guy so he will be motivated to show more and more of his feelings and finally tell her that he likes her. If the girl doesn’t do that or just not making him feel that she likes him then the guy will think that it’s only him that likes the girl and since he doesn’t want to be rejected, he will never ask.
Further on there will be a time when you will get to a point that you feel that you really have to tell her that you like her. This is for guys because there hasn’t been a good, normal and mature girl that stepped up to a guy and told him first that she likes him. So knowing that he might get rejected, it’s the boy’s job to take the risk, stand up for himself and tell her that he likes her. There is the possibility that she might just not like the guy or she might like him but since there is so much pressure on her at the moment when the guy approaches, she might say something like “I don’t think that I’m the right person.” In a situation like that, the one and only thing that a boy understands from that respond is that he’s rejected once again and there is no way that he can get to her, with the feeling that he just wants to get it over with as soon as possible. Unfortunately if you live in country that rains a lot like Malaysia, it will definitely rain on that specific day. There is also another type of a situation that might happen and that is if the girl really actually likes the guy and has the confidence to tell him that she likes him too. I never personally experienced that but I assume that that is really the best way to tell a guy that you like him. Because guy brains work like formulas. She either says “Yes” and anything else is a “No.” If the girls say anything else than accepting, and come back later to say “Yes” she would really want to make it romantic and emotional for the guy and tell him how much she likes him. That is because when she comes back to say “Yes”, that will make a really huge question in the guy’s mind, “why didn’t she say that when I told her that I like her? So did she just start liking me cuz I said that I like her?” But why boys think like that? Well I’ll tell you, because they think that if they were able to do something confidently, other should be able to do the same. Or they think that everyone else thinks the same ways as they do and deal with different problems like they deal with. So all that girls need to do to avoid misunderstanding, is to make the guy believe that she really likes him.
Another thing that can ruin your attitude is expectations. We’ve all seen people around us dating, and we see them doing certain thing and reactive in certain ways that looks romantic and sweet to us. But what we don’t know is that they have gone through some primary stages too. So it’s wrong to think that your brand new relationship with someone should be close to other people’s relationships. You will eventually get there but it’s just a matter of time and patience. Speaking of patience, that’s the most important and the most fundamental need for every relationship. It should be from the both sides and it affects the understanding of the both people. It doesn’t mean that they should just sit and wait to see what happens next. It mean that they should have really low expectations from the other person in the terms of understanding. For example they should explain their feelings, in a really detailed way, even if they assume that the other person knows how they feel. That is only because of preventing any misunderstandings and therefore to avoid any arguments resulting from the misunderstanding. If the boy and the girl really like each other, they will want and will do anything to make each other happy and satisfy. But if they have the wrong information, then they will react and do stuff that are not quite relevant to the situation. So make DAMN SURE that you explain your feelings, emotions and the way you think, clearly and detailed enough that your partner gets it all. I can’t stress this enough that the only information that your partner has from you, comes from you. They are not mind readers, remember that. In the perspective of the boys, they really want to do everything for the girl. The put their whole heart into it to make her happy. But they have to see or be told that their actions are resulting to something, and he is actually making her feel better and happier. A girl no matter how shy, has to tell him that he is on the right way and he should keep doing what he has been. If not, then the guy thinks that he is doing something wrong and will change his reactions. In the situations that guys feel that they are just helpless, but they still really like the girl, they will think that since they can’t make her happy then they are hurting her. So by pulling themselves out, they want to stop hurting the girl. But a word of advice to all the boys out there who feel like this with their partners, be patient. It’s way better to wait and if the thing didn’t get better get rejected by her later, than break up with her now and then realize that she really liked you but she just couldn’t say it. If that ever happen to you, then you will know what I mean when I say, now that I know how she felt about me I want her now more than ever and will do anything to get her back.
I hope that by reading this, you manage to make better decisions and not make the same mistakes as I did. It’s not cool, trust me!