After an engagement is announced, congratulations pour in and so do the opinions. Everyone is so happy for you and even happier to give their two cents. For me, it was great receiving helpful opinions and suggestions because I had no idea where to start. However, along with the useful suggestions came suggestions that just don’t jive with my personal style. Here are my tips on how to handle potentially sticky situations while still being true to yourself:
This is one of the most exciting times in your life, but keep in mind that your family, and the family you’re marrying into are also really excited. When you do receive advice or offers from people, let them know how thankful you are for their help. Even if you don’t take the advice, thank them for their awesome ideas.
Be in Love
Don’t you dare wear a dress or any accessory that you are not absolutely in love with just to please your mother/mother in law/aunt/ anyone but yourself. You get one day that is all about you, but you will look at the pictures for a lifetime. Make sure you stay true to yourself.
My mother in law, who is just about the sweetest woman around, really wanted someone from her church to make me a necklace out of those acrylic crystal beads. I was so touched by her offer. It seemed so romantic to walk down the aisle in a necklace that my mother in law had made for me. But when I saw what the necklace was supposed to look like, I realized that it just wasn’t my style and it wasn’t what I wanted to wear on my wedding day. I told her that I found another necklace that I wanted to wear and of course, she was very gracious. I got to wear the big, dramatic statement necklace that I had dreamed of and my mother in law still liked me. Crisis averted.
Stand Your Ground
Especially if you hire a wedding planner, you will have to be firm about your ideas. Most wedding planners have planned hundreds of weddings and events and the experience is priceless; that’s why you pay them the big bucks! But just because she has done it before, don’t let her force things on you that aren’t your taste or make you uncomfortable. My wedding planner was awesome, but there were a couple situations where I had to put my foot down. She thought it would work better to have names written on a board at the reception with which table they were assigned. I had my heart set on names written on leaves that I made attached to a red delicious apple for each guest- I thought it complimented our fall theme really nicely. We tangled, but I knew what I wanted and the apples were a huge hit with our guests. Whether it’s a style issue or a family issue, her experience doesn’t trump your taste or even certain traditions that are important to your family. She may know most, but that does not necessarily mean she knows best.