Control is an illusion. Still, it is an illusion that works for most of us. The concept that we are in charge is intoxicating. It brings a sensation of balance and clarity. This perception is not real, but that does not matter. The goal is to avoid any pain by having absolute power over every aspect of the world as you know it. This task is draining and often unfulfilling. In order to avoid any possible hurt, you must be on guard constantly, and this is no way to live. This form of protection keeps you at distance from the world. You are unable to make meaningful connections based on this block. In truth, having control is controlling you. In my experience, there are three steps to begin the process of releasing the need to control. If you are ready to loosen your grip on the world, these will help.
1. Make A Decision
The first step is simply to make a decision. If you are unhappy living the way you are, you choose to live differently. Implement small changes into your daily life and watch as nothing falls apart. This act will be uncomfortable, breathe through it.
2. Take A Risk
Those of us that thrive off of control tend to have many stipulations about interacting with others. Such tendencies are prominent traits of control and are the most detrimental. After you have made a decision, it is time to take a risk. I do not suggest jumping into a romantic involvement, but I do recommend stepping outside your comfort zone. Share about yourself freely, connect deeply and feel the difference in your stance.
3. There Is No Try
As a control addict, you will want to regulate these changes. Perhaps, make a list, put a schedule in place and track your progress. Do not do this, you are simply shifting the same behaviors around without changing anything. There is no try only do. So just do it. The discomfort will not last, this I can promise you.