I have been with my husband now for over 15 years. Over the course of these 15 years I have learned a lot about myself and just how strong I really am.
For years I have been trying to “fix” me. I have tried everything from responding differently to cold and nasty remarks, I have stopped going out with my husband and I have learned to primarily keep to myself. Honestly, none of these methods have steered me clear from his harsh and abrasive remarks.
It took me quite some years to realize that it was not me who had the issue. Because he blamed me for everything I began to do the same. I figured if I just changed and if I handled things differently as he requested then things would get better. Little did I know that this would not change a thing. The only thing that did change was my certainty and sanity.
Narcissists are game players. They will mess with your mind and at one point almost convince you that you are crazy. Trust me, you are not. This is all in part of the game that they play. Do NOT try to jump in and play the game with them. They are on a whole different level and it is one that I have never seen. You will never win. Narcissists never play by the rules. Once you think you have their game figured out they will change every rule to the game leaving you on the losing end every single time.
Why do I not just leave? That is the golden question, right? That solution sounds simple enough, right? Wrong. My husband has managed to sabotage every opportunity in the past of my finding a job outside of our home. We have a son who is just now old enough to stay at home for a bit alone so I am in the job hunting process. Over the course of the years and present my husband goes out with who he wants, when he wants and comes home when he wants. Trust me; the best solution is to not say anything. In my experience, a drunken narcissist is the last kind of person you want to deal with. I will have “my time” soon. I have learned that patience and great planning is the key.