Keep a log:
Use a notebook. It only needs to be a small one. You can buy them at the dollar store. Write down every time you get mad or aggravated. Not just the times you have road rage or when someone “rents free space” in your head but every time you feel hostile or aggressive to another person or thing. I know for some of us we will need a hand cart to haul it around. However this hostility log will help make us more self-aware of our feelings and we can see a pattern forming.
As we see these patterns forming, we can stop the hostile thought before it gets out of hand. We also can see how pointless they really are and what a waste of energy that could be better used to do positive things. We should never let others have free rent in our minds. Most of the time, the person we are feeling hostile towards does not even know how we feel.
Think about something pleasant:
According to; Redford Williams, M.D. and director of the Behavioral Medical Research Center at Duke University, our brains can only think about one thing at a time. Therefore, if we feel like ripping someone’s head off, we should, instead, turn our thought to something more pleasant.
Smokes, cokes, caffeine, and sugars:
If we are not addicted to these things, than the better we are able to focus on other things and spent less time being hostile.
There are some things we cannot change and the sooner we understand that, the happier we will be. Things like:
- · Is my best friend talking behind my back?
- · Do my coworkers dislike me because I say what I think?
These are things we have no power over what other people say or think. If my best friend is talking behind my back; she/he does not need to be my best friend. If my coworkers do not like me because I speak my mind, then they should not ask me what I think.
There are some things we can control, for example:
- · Will I ever fit into my old jeans again?
- · Will I ever get my new car?
There is an old saying; “if you do not like your bed, get up and make it over.” There are things in life we can change and there is no sense worrying about them either. Just go ahead and make the changes and move on.