So, you think you’re ready for a long-term relationship? There are certain things you need to make sure you have in order before you start searching for the one or commit to that special someone. While some would argue that working through life issues is a means of showing love and commitment to someone, you also want to ensure that your relationship is one that exists between two independent adults, not two codependent adults. It is best to make sure that you have crucial personal issues in check before seeking out a long-term relationship; it ensures that each party is in the relationship for the right reasons, love and mutual respect, not merely for satisfying needs they should tend to as an individual.
Job or School
You don’t need to be a doctor or have a job in finance, but you should ideally have a stable job or be enrolled in school with goals in mind. It’s not that you’re trying to appeal to gold-diggers, but you don’t want to find yourself in a long-term relationship with someone where you are reliant on them for your own personal financial security. Make your own path in life and have respect for your partner’s chosen endeavors, as well. It promotes a healthy relationship and ensures that both parties stay committed for love, not out of financial convenience.
Your Living Situation
Make sure that you have a stable living situation before considering or entering a long-term relationship. Going from your parents’ house right into a long-term relationship spells trouble. You need to be able to take care of yourself before you can care for another. Being independent is the first step to truly finding yourself and if you are not independent you can quickly find yourself in an unhealthy codependent relationship. If you’re having trouble paying the rent, you need to take care of yourself first before seeking out a committed partner. Getting into a relationship and immediately moving in with your lover out of financial convenience can muddy the waters and confuse the relationship. It should be about love and care, not about loving that you’re merely being taken care of.
I am not saying that you need to own a car, but you should have a means of getting to and from work – a reliable bike, a bus pass, whatever it may be. No one wants to be your chauffeur and during the early parts of a healthy long-term relationship, it is crucial for each party to be able to go out and do things independently without having to ask permission.
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