In the 25 years or so that I’ve been a working psychic-medium, there’ve been lots of “Whoa!” moments. I mean, when spirit impacts our physical dimension and provides evidence that life goes on after death and that they’re still around to help us muddle through, its pretty damn cool.
But the thing about mediumship that I love most is the way spirit people offer some sneak peeks about the journey we’re all going to take someday (hopefully later, rather than sooner). I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have questions, worries, fears or just a little curiosity about what happens when we -or someone we love – shuffle off this mortal coil. Over the years, I’ve been privileged to be granted some insights on the subject, and recently put them together in my book, OK, So You’re Dead: A Sassy Guide to the Afterlife. It’s my hope that it provides some healing and comfort, because let’s face it, death is a big deal.
Losing someone – including a pet – is one of those experiences that really shakes things up. Whether the person went suddenly or after a long illness, whether it was expected or not, death completely transforms how we do our life moving forward. Our relationships change, our daily lives change. This is how we can grow, but most of the time, it hurts like hell.
Even though we’ll say stuff like, “Well, they’re at peace now,” those left behind may not be. Grief, guilt, regret, worry, fear – those are all typical emotions that get stirred up after a death. There are a lot of ways to deal with them, but connecting with spirit-side can be especially useful. I say this because getting confirmation that life does indeed go on has proven to be enormously healing in the readings that I’ve done. And the other thing is, our perspective changes greatly once we die; we have a slightly different view of the conflicts or troubles we endured, so we can give or accept forgiveness and improve our relationships from that dimension.
Granted, there are as many questions about the Other Side as there are Kardashians, but here’s a sampling of what frequently comes up when someone’s sitting across from me:
WHAT IS DYING LIKE?
Spirit has described the feeling as “accelerating.” What’s happening is that we change from solid human form to a lighter spirit body. Without all the physical baggage, we can really fly I think the show Star Trek provides a good example: when they step into the transporter and become all “sparkly,” that’s us transitioning. Our consciousness is just uncorked from our body and pours out into the Universe, and we’re free to review how we did unfettered by physical and emotional limitations.
WHERE IS THE OTHER SIDE?
I think most of us assume that Heaven, the Other Side or whatever is a place way, way far away. But that’s not the case. If you’ve ever actually seen a ghost, notice that they “float.” There’s a reason for that: the Other Side is just another dimension, and exists about three feet off of the ground. It nearly overlaps ours, which I think is nice. Our loved ones are that close.
DO PETS GO WHERE WE DO?
As an animal lover myself, I know how particularly devastating it is to lose a pet. But I’m here to tell you that yes, your pets will be with you on the Other Side. Frequently during a sitting, I see them with a human they loved in life. Animals also go back and forth between the worlds more easily than we do, so its not unusual to experience their presence. You’re not hallucinating if you think you hear or see them: they really do hang out.
I HAVE SUCH GUILT AND REGRET ABOUT MY LOVED ONE…
This is a biggie for a lot of folks. But the beauty part is that, while we may not hear them, our loved ones can still hear us. As I mentioned, their perspective has changed, so it’s absolutely never too late to express your feelings, admit wrongdoing or a new understanding of something that tripped the two of you up. I suggest you have that mental chat right before you fall asleep; you might be surprised at what happens in your dreams. Or you may get an indication a few days later that you were “heard.”
WHAT CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT USING A MEDIUM?
Connecting with a deceased loved one is a profound experience, so find a medium through personal recommendation or one with a good reputation. Expect the session to run about 30 minutes, and recording it is always a good idea: there are things that might not make sense until later. Most mediums will tell you they can’t guarantee that the exact spirit will come through, but you can grease the gears by inviting them to be there ahead of the session. Keep an open mind and know that you always hear from who you’re supposed to.
Using a medium is certainly one way to connect with someone on the Other Side. But honestly, the dead constantly send us “pings” that they’re around, existing in another dimension that’s right next door. From dreams to a song on the radio to a moment when you swear they’re right next to you, pay attention to those subtle messages. It’s truly comforting to know that our loved ones have only gone on – not away.