Recently, some friends and I have been discussing horror films. We pointed out all the things victims are constantly doing wrong when it comes to survival. You wonder why they die off so easily? Here is a list of rules and tips for victims in a horror flick to follow.
Don’t Run Upstairs
Have you ever noticed that when someone is trying to escape a killer they manage to trap themselves upstairs? Most of the time they think it’s okay to hide in a bathroom or under the bed. At least if you’re going upstairs to hide, be creative with where you’re hiding!
Not the Time for Sex
A majority of horror films has at least several people having sex. When you know people are dying, is it really the time to? In Cabin Fever, they realize that there is something terribly wrong with their friends, but yet commence to having sex. The same goes for one of the Children of the Corn movies. In other flicks, when there is a killer on the loose (whether known or not), normally those having sex are the first to die. May I suggest skipping the act until the killer is officially declared dead?
Killers are Literally Immortal
I don’t know how many times Jason, Freddy, and Michael have been killed, but yet keep coming back. If you’re going to attempt to stop the maniac, it might be smart to acquire a bazooka, a huge truck, sharks, or an army, just to name a few if you’re able to. Perhaps if they’re all used at once, you might succeed! After you think they’re dead, consider going into the Witness Protection Program or getting off the planet, although Jason has managed to get to outer space before.
Never Call Out for Help
Yes, I understand you might need to be rescued, but there’s the chance the killer may be lured to you by your gorgeous voice! What about using a tape recorder and leaving it somewhere for your voice to play and set a fake trail? This may increase your chances of survival.
It’s perfectly understandable that you want to rescue your friends and be declared the hero. But unless you have super powers, get out! At this point, it’s every man or woman for themselves! You can send back help, though.
Don’t Investigate Noises
How many times has someone made the mistake and went to check out what the strange noise is? They then make the stupid mistake of opening a door that leads them right to the killer. Hopefully, there is an extra person nearby that you can convince to open the door for you or go investigate the noise.
Hot is Overrated
Have you noticed that the majority of the victims are hot? Is there a way you could make yourself ugly? I think this is the time to be grateful if you’re not smoking hot.
If the above rules and tips don’t help you escape and survive, there might be more that were missed. Keep in mind to never underestimate the killer (could be from out of this world), nor tease them; teasing might anger them. Consider not being the last or first person in a line, don’t go into dark places, make sure you’re armed at all times, and be careful – you might accidentally kill the wrong person when going after the killer.