Having a victim mentality keeps you in a pattern of self-sabotage. There can be no progress when you seek only to be a martyr. Most people who live in this state of mind are completely unaware of it. It is simply who they have always been. If you are looking to change, the first step is recognition. You cannot address a problem you are not aware that you have. In my experience, there are three signs that indicate you or someone close to you may have a victim mentality. Acknowledging these indicators will allow you to begin to change or to separate from an unhealthy relationship.
1. It Is The World’s Fault
Do you feel that the deck is stacked against you? That no matter what you do things will always end badly. This type thought process only comes from those who view themselves as victims. Most people understand that the world is not fair, but they do not take it personally. You may feel that certain circumstances have you trapped in an endless cycle of failure. This point is one that you will fight to prove. Regardless of its validity.
When you find yourself on the cusp of greatness, it seems to be taken from you by unforeseen obstacles. If you look closer at these instances, you will most likely find that the failure was based on decisions that you made. It may be difficult for you to see this with any clarity, but your patterns only enforce a victim mentality.
3. Attention Seeking
Everything in your world goes wrong on a regular basis. As a result of this your friends are constantly extending themselves to comfort you. Looking back through your history will reveal that a good amount your misadventures were based in a desire for this attention. People who are truly victimized do not seek attention; they seek to heal. While sharing on those painful parts of their past is necessary it is not a past time for them. This difference is the most important.