Three cheers for Andi on The Bachelor last night-for being honest with herself first of all, and then for having the courage to tell Juan Pablo how she felt, on TV, and keep telling him, even as he minimized her feelings.
What is it with Juan Pablo? He keeps defending himself by saying English is not his first language, so that’s why he doesn’t always communicate in the most diplomatic way.
But then he comes out with some pretty good English vocabulary. So-is he sexist? Self-centered? Is he confused about who and what he wants? Or is he just enjoying having all these women around, without thinking seriously about marriage to any of them?
Andi Tells It Like It Is
Back to Andi. Wow. She told us that Juan Pablo hadn’t asked her much at all about herself-her job, politics, religion, etc. She said he didn’t seem to care about who she was as a person. She said that in the fantasy suite, when she told him a story about her life, he didn’t respond to her story. Instead, he told one about his life.
She confronted Juan Pablo about the way he always says, “It’s okay.” I’d noticed that too, with her and all the women. Is it because he’s optimistic? Is it because he’s Latin? Whenever someone was worried about something, this was his response. Sometimes it seemed comforting, protective. But other times, it seemed dismissive. Andi nailed him for that, for denying her feelings-and I loved her for it!
I had noticed earlier that he always took the women, in groups or alone, on dates involving sports, physical challenges and adventure. As Andi said, that was a lot of fun, and she appreciated all the places she went and things she did. But she didn’t think the important conversations had taken place between her and Juan Pablo.
Dad Might Have Made Andi Think
I think that on her hometown date, when her father was skeptical, she began to think more deeply.
Andi was persistent in telling Juan Pablo how she felt. You could see her lawyer come out, it’s true. But she was talking about something personal, and she was sticking to her guns (so to speak). A lot of times women have difficulty expressing feelings if the man doesn’t show some support. If he doesn’t, it’s easy to back down.
Andi didn’t. She knew how she felt, and she was true to herself.
When she told Juan Pablo he wasn’t the one for her, his response was, “That’s okay.” No emotion, no asking why.
Maybe he was relieved that his choice of who to send home had just been made for him. But just to say okay was a slap in the face. As Andi drove off, she wasn’t doing the usual crying routine. She was saying, “He’s probably saying ‘That’s okay’ now.” And he was!
“He doesn’t get it,” Andi added. “He’ll never get it.”