Have you ever had a really bad day? You know what I’m talking about. Those days where nothing seems to be working out for you? The coffee pot shorts out, the dry cleaner ruins your suit, the dogs actually do eat your homework – or the first draft to your breakout memoir that has all of the editing notes in it, but you’re not bitter or anything. The day goes so badly that you’re hard pressed to believe that you’ve even woken up to start the day, at all! You just want to look up to the sky and shout, “WHY!?” or “FUCK YOU!” Well, my entire life is like that. Recently, I had one of these days and it really got me thinking about life and the things we face on a day to day basis.
It was a sunny Saturday morning in spring. I was over my parents’ house to do some laundry, take a shower and soak up some Wi-Fi. After my shower and with a load of clothes in the wash, I went into the basement to watch a movie on my laptop while I waited for the rinse cycle to end. I heard my parents coming home from the store so I jumped up to go ask them a question. The next thing I knew, my legs were flying out from under me, backwards. My face was smacking the floor. I’d fallen; Slipped in dog piss.
Upon impact with the cement floor, I managed to bruise my arm and skin my knees. As if that blitz attack wasn’t enough, my mother has these beads hanging to divide the basement up into sections. The strings of beads wrapped around my neck, causing me to take down the entire rack, snapping it in half and sending beads scattering in every direction around me. I had absolutely no clue what was going on or what was happening to me. All I could do was scream, “BIIIIITCH!” over and over pointing at that damned dog as I laid on the floor, watching it run away in fear, knowing full well what it had just done.
There I was, covered in dog piss, scraped and bruised wrapped in these purple fucking beads that I absolutely can’t stand. There was nothing left to do but lay there and laugh.
Later that day, after a second shower and some aspirin, I went back home to my apartment. I went to put my phone down on the bed when it slipped out of my hand too soon. I quickly tried to catch it again, but was only able to knock it onto my bed. “SAFE!” I thought. Nope. The phone bounced off the bed straight into a cup of iced tea. I dove for the phone so fast, you’d think my baby was drowning -because, it was. “You have GOT to be FUCKING kidding me!” I yelled to the sky, the song lyrics “Just praying to a God that I don’t believe in” playing in my head.
I fished out the phone, wiped it down, and shoved it in rice. After it sat for a while, I took it out of the rice to wipe it down so it wouldn’t be sticky and inspected the damage. Good news! Everything seemed to be working fine! Except for the granules of rice stuck in the headphone jack. I tried everything; I could not get them out. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, I realized that the speakers on the phone no longer worked, after trying to play a YouTube video. “Great.” I sighed, “The non-fat icing on the sugar free cake.”
Finally, I just had to stop and laugh… Again. The truth is if this had happened in a scene on a TV show or to one of my friends, I would have been in stitches. So, why would things be any different just because they were happening to me? And you want to know something? After I stopped and took a second to laugh at my own misfortune, I approached the situation with a clear head and a new perspective. I got the rice out of the phone and the speakers started working again after they had time to dry. Don’t take life too seriously. It always has a way of working out. Laugh your way through life, you won’t regret it.
Having a day like that reminded me of something. Laying there on the floor with strings of beads around my neck, covered in bruises and dog piss, I remembered just how unpredictable life actually is. One minute you’re watching Voldemort die and the next you’re lying in a pool of dog piss and decorations. That’s life for ya! You’re gonna get the shit beat out of you. You’re gonna get pissed on – sometimes literally! Your legs are going to get knocked out from under you. You’re going to land on your face. Your iPhone will bounce off of your soft, safe bed straight into a cup of iced tea because life hates your guts! It is going to happen. You aren’t going to know when, but, when it does, you are going to be okay! You will find the strength to stand up, take a good look at the shit show surrounding you – and you’re going to laugh. Because, life is too ridiculous not to.