That stupid cable box. It’s like it never even works. Why are we paying so much money for it every month? And the customer service is abysmal. Can’t these people do anything right? I feel like I might scream so loud the house will shake. Then as if on cue, I remember I signed up for that annoying 21 day meditation challenge and I hadn’t yet completed my meditation for that day.
“Perfect”, I think. Something else to do today, like I’m not busy enough. I’m completely convinced that if I meditate right now my pure, seething anger might actually destroy the act of meditation forever; for everyone. My legacy to humanity.
Thinking of the commitment I made to Oprah for 21 consecutive days of meditation, I imagine how she would lecture me if she knew I was giving up. I really don’t need an imaginary Oprah lecture right now. Fine I’ll do it for three minutes, but not a nanosecond more.
I ask (order) my husband to turn the sound off on his ridiculous video game. I begrudgingly sit on the floor. I hate this. I try to “center” myself. I breathe in through my nose. I breathe out through my nose. I breathe in through my nose, I breathe out through my nose. I hate this… less. I repeat the mantra that Oprah has provided me with today; something about my core being peaceful and secure. I repeat it again; and again. I repeat it until I don’t hate it anymore. I repeat it until I forgot why I was seething with anger in the first place; until my core actually does start to feel peaceful and secure. Until I forget the cable box even exists.
As I open my eyes and realize that I sat in stillness for nearly six minutes (still an embarrassingly short about of time, but a personal best for me), I feel…renewed, like all of the petty crap I felt throughout the day had melted into the ground and was washed away.
People make many claims about meditation. It helps people think clearer, feel better, some even say it changes brain chemistry. I can’t speak to that. I haven’t done any research or conducted any double blind studies. I don’t know the science behind meditation.
Here is what I do know: When I do it regularly, I feel calm. I feel more focused on the important things in life and more capable of discerning what the important things in life are. I feel more cheerful; and I feel angry less often. This is a better way to live my life. Plus, I feel less rage-y when the cable box malfunctions.