It is hard to know what to think or even say when one of your loved ones is unstable. While knowing and understanding some of the situations that has caused the instability may be helpful when giving advice; it in no way helps prepare one for the insanity that follows. Drinking, drunk use, fighting, legal problems, abuse, and mood swings can often be just the tip of the iceberg.
Recently I have personally seen the chaos that can come from having such a person in your life. The drinking begins within an hour of waking up. The individual thinks that drinking will make the bad thoughts go away, or at least that is one of the many excuses they use when the drinking problem conversation is brought up. Within 30 minutes it is clear that the alcohol in no way makes the bad thoughts go away, instead they become more intense. Any emotion felt by a sober mind are now twisted and extreme.
The drinking continues throughout the afternoon. Now instead drinking a tall boy at home, the individual has by now graduated to drinking shots at a public establishment. Ranting and rambling to anyone that will listen; he will say or do anything to grab the attention of any stranger within an ear’s shot. But what happens when he has been drinking alone? What happens when there is nobody at the bar to rant to? That is when the ramblings of this drunken soul utilizes technology to pull one into his web.
The phone becomes a harassing device when the individual’s emotion has taken over. Text messages, phone calls, facebook posts, and even emails become targets for the individual’s anger. Should you not answer right away, it will only continue until you do. If you continue to ignore the harassment, it will only be worse for you later on. In my case the individual lives with me, thus if his ranting via smart phone is ignored the anger is multiplied when he gets home. Sometimes he comes home and merely falls asleep after ranting for an hour or two. Other times, he comes home a bloody mess after either purposely inflicting harm on himself or randomly picking a fight with a fellow bar goer. No matter where the blood came from, it is made immediately clear after a long winded story that the fault is your own for not answering the phone.
When a person gets to this level of alcohol consumption they become easily frustrated. Any conversation or attempt to lighten the mood is often taken the wrong way. No matter how something is phrased, this individual will find a reason to turn it into a fight even if that means bring something up from the past that to them in some how makes sense to their own argument. I have had a fight begin simply for asking “Can I make you something to eat?”
When the fighting begins there is no words you can say that will not make them even more irate. An alpha male chest pounding aspect of their personality takes over. Even if what the person is saying is in no way correct, it is quickly learned that correcting them is not an option. Simply giving advice as I have found is a bad idea as well. Sadly as I have found, anything you say or do is taken as an act of aggression that is met swiftly with a fierce response. Sometimes just trying to lend an ear till the rant is over is taken as you not caring about their situation. It truly is a no win situation.