God is someone different to each and every one of us. He’s a protector to some, a healer to others and a father to me. Whether I truly recognized it or not, God as always been a part of my life. I’ve always keep Him close from the time I was a child to now. At the age of 25, I can honestly say I’ve never been closer to Him. He’s opened my eyes, ears, and heart to his Word and ways. My life would be incomplete without Him.
Every relationship with God is different and unique because we all regard him in different ways. I’ve always seen Him as a father and friend because he’s always been there for me. Not to disrespect my own father but God has never let me down and can never let me down. I’ve learned that I had to find God and develop my own personal relationship with him because it’s about me and Him. What someone else has with him isn’t what I have. It’s mine and mine alone. I don’t believe most people understand that concept truly.
Like most Christians, I grew up in church as a kid. My parents or my aunt took me to church. I’ll be honest, I hated it. I didn’t like to dress up, I didn’t like Sunday school, and I truly didn’t like alter praying (it always hurt my knees). These were things I was forced to do and didn’t know why. This was my parents’ and aunt’s church, not mine. I was a kid and half the time I didn’t understand anything that was going on but yet it’s so vivid in my memory.
As I got older, my parents stopped going to church and began working more to support all of us. Yet, when we visited my aunt, she’d take us to church. Maybe it was because I still didn’t truly understand who God really was but I still didn’t like going to church. It wasn’t until I was a teen that I started seeking God for myself. As a teen you go through a lot of problems. You feel like no one understands you. That’s how I felt a lot. In feeling this way, I started praying. I started crying out to God and asking for help. I looked for my Father above to come into my life.
Though I started searching for God, it wasn’t until I was at my lowest that I truly heard him. It wasn’t until I couldn’t take anymore that he gave me direction. One day I almost throw in the towel completely. I was constantly crying, unhappy, broke, and just done. I prayed what I thought to be my last prayer saying, “God if it’s your will that I live, I will. But I can’t take this anymore. It hurts too much and I want it to all stop. If I wake tomorrow, I understand. If not, I’m okay with that.” I did what I did and then went to sleep and sure enough awoke the next morning. God said it wasn’t over for me yet. I still had work to do. I still had something to live for. I thank God for that revelation. After that day, a shift happened in my life.
It always seems that when we think we can’t push through the pain anymore or take another step, God helps us. He talks to us personally and aids us how we need to be aided. Having a personal relationship with God is the only real way to know him. You can’t know God through your parents or grandparents relationships. You have to have your own relationship. You have to praise and worship Him your way. You have to seek Him on your own. It’s better that way. It brings you closer to Him. I pray we all get that personal connection because it will change your life forever.