He has proposed to me at least 300 times ever since we started dating in June 2012 – and he’s asked in every way possible you can imagine. In the beginning, my replies were “Maybe” and “I don’t know,” and “We’ll see where this goes.” These replies only fueled his excitement to get me to say yes, and I’ll never forget the day I did.
We had been together for about 8 months, and we were watching a movie on my computer in my room, all cuddled up in the blankets. When it was done, we stayed cuddled, doing nothing more. He looked at me with those deep ocean colored eyes and said; “I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment I met you. I tried everything to get your attention. I’ve loved you for years. Years. I should have played the lottery the day you took me in because that was the luckiest day of my life. I can’t imagine a life without you. I’ve tried to and I can’t. Our souls are intertwined. I would and will do anything to make you happy. I love you. Please marry me. Will you marry me?”
I was crying. It was the sweetest thing. He wiped away my tears and said quietly, “Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. I didn’t say that for you to cry.”
And I just simply said; “Yes.” He held me a little closer. “Really?” just like the time when he asked me to be his girlfriend. I smiled at the memory. “Yes.” He had proposed to me before, a hundred times, but this time was different. This time was serious and real and honest. He didn’t have a ring at that time, but shortly after that day he produced a beautiful ring – sapphire like the outline of his iris.
When he brought it over to me, he was nervous and smiling. He didn’t give me a speech at the time, he just slipped the ring onto my finger and nervously smiled. He was a little disappointed when it fell right off from improper sizing. It was a beautiful family heirloom, and I was honored and excited. I brought him a ring too when I got paid that summer, and we set our wedding date for this December. He has proposed again since that day too, a number of times, and he keeps telling me he wants to make it as perfect as possible; no matter how many times I tell him he already has.
How long is too long to wait?
I didn’t wait a long time or long at all – his final proposal was a complete surprise to me, I wasn’t even thinking about marriage as a serious manner at the time. Many of us have to wait for a proposal and sometimes the proposal procrastination is a display of his character. Sometimes it means that he is waiting for the right time.
Don’t make marriage a burden. Engagements are fun – and marriage is even funner. Take this waiting time together to learn more about each other and enjoy it. Three or more years is a long time to wait – if he’s been seeing you along with other people during this time – maybe he isn’t as serious as he’s supposed to be. This kind of character is not ready for marriage and hasn’t thought it through. A person in love at max usually proposes between two years to three.
Of course, always look at the financial standpoint of your situation. Maybe he’s been saving up. If you talked with him about this seriously and he has turned you down time and time again, then consider your future. Somebody who has been married before may take a longer time to propose.
Think about his past. Notice the way he thinks. Being judgmental about a spouse can really hinder somebody from seeing the real you. Take note of the way he talks to you when he’s angry. There are people who have been together for 50 years – starting in a place where there were no internet. Today love is so easy that people are taking advantage of it.
So relax. Have fun. Enjoy you two’s time together. If you’re ready to devote the rest of your life to this person, then enjoy the time you two have together right now. You will still be the same two people before and after marriage, you will still have the same silly arguments and the same silly quirks. Enjoy everything. And then let him propose when he’s ready.
Evaluate the way your partner does things and apply it to the situation.
My guy does things on repeat until it works out the way he would like. What does yours do? Does he spend hours evaluating options on things? Is he impulsive? Is he constantly thinking what-if? Does he make up his mind once and then stick to that idea or does he flip flop? Then take that habit and apply it here. If he spends hours evaluating options, and is constantly telling you this, then perhaps he doesn’t see you as a priority, but an option.
Do not pressure him.
If you pressure him, it will not only put stress on your relationship but it will diminish the flame he has for you. Of course every guy wants to marry the lady he loves – but let him do it when he’s ready and when he thinks of it. If you want a guy to propose, don’t even talk about marriage. Be yourself, have fun, go out and explore each other. Learn more about each other.
I feel like everyone is getting married except for me. What is the best age to get married?
There is no age or time that people should get married – it all depends on their personalities, lifestyles and cultures. Don’t compare yourself to your friends or family; you are not in their relationship. As F. Scott Fitzgerald said; “There are all of kinds of love in this world, but never the same love twice.”
Is it okay if I drop hints?
Hints is pressure. If he asks you what ring you would like, “hypothetically” of course, by all means tell him. But don’t constantly flood his emails with ‘hints’ from jewelry websites. He wants to wow you, to surprise you, to be spontaneous. Let him. He will bring up the topic when he is ready. If he isn’t ready and it’s been more than 3 years.. have a serious talk with him. If he continues to blow you off, look at all sides of the situation.