I want everyone to think about being healthy for a moment. Are you thinking about being healthy? Now…just laugh, laugh and laugh – ha ha ha ha ha ha. Why are we laughing you may ask for a topic that is serious? Well, being healthy may be a far off dream for some. Wait a minute, we were laughing; laughter is an act of being healthy as laughter stimulates endorphins in the body and works the stomach muscles. I bet some of you were either crying with laughter because you can’t wait to get healthy or crying with laughter and tears because the thought of getting healthy is such hard work.
Well, the Australian Government have got a new telephone service called ‘get healthy’. Have another laugh, quickly. ‘Get Healthy’ is where you call up and ask and find out information about being healthy. I know, I know, getting healthy is sort of a serious thing, isn’t it. But talking about getting healthy may be more fun, and an easier way for some of you slackers out there.
Here’s a scenario –
So the Phone Operator goes: ‘So Mr. so and so, are you healthy yet?’
And the Slob goes: ‘Well, let’s have a think about it for a while. In fact, it’s a no-think situation because I’m fat as a plum-cake; my belly is hanging over my pants, I have bad body odor (hey, don’t come near me), I can hardly walk and I eat and drink everything known to man like a human garbage bin. But talking about getting healthy is fun. I can have dreams about being healthy, which can only happen in my dreams’.
Have a think about what the introductory welcome message would be for the ‘get healthy’ telephone service:
‘Welcome…(Olivia Newton-John’s song, ‘Let’s Get Physical’, plays in background), to the Australian Government’s ‘get healthy’ telephone service. So you have finally got off your big fat ass, from your comfy lounge or king or queen sized double bed and decide to give us a call. Bad luck for such a decision because the party is over pal (Supervisor is recorded as yelling in background). Sorry, what I meant to say was, congratulations on trying to get healthy.
Press 1 to get totally dizzy, have a heart attack or work those lazy fingers on the Number #1 button with exercise. Press 2 for an all-you-can-eat diet you just really want to have. Press 3 to go into la-la land from an awesome therapy session. Press 4 for personal development because you really, really, really, really do need it, I did say really didn’t I?
Talking about this ‘get healthy’ telephone service has got me all worked up-and-worked out for the day, probably the week, especially the Press-this options thing and, Olivia Newton-John. Let’s get physical, woops, sorry Olivia, let’s get healthy everyone.