To understand how to learn to trust the beloved, important for you to understand one simple thing: When you are in control of another person, you lose the trust of each other.
This is especially true of close relations. Controlling your partner, you say, “You are not worthy of my trust, so I’ll keep an eye on you! I need to always be on their toes and alert, because I know for sure if I do not control you, something bad will happen. “
Control very often “grows” from childhood. If parents are strongly controlled you, then most likely you are doing the same thing in relationships. Very often paired relationships resemble the parent. You become like a “mom” or “dad” and choose a cautionary stance, as if are “above”.
In this situation, a lot of inequality: one of the partners becomes strong, and someone – weak; someone – smart, and someone – not very. Eventually control only quarrel partners, depriving their mutual affection and trust.
Remember: control – this is only the illusion of power. (“I’m in control, then to manage relationships. Therefore, nothing bad can happen.”)
Control often grows out of fear or uncertainty about what will happen in a relationship without it. If so, think about what you can do to feel better and more confident.
Conduct an experiment: one week control replace confidence. you have to admire your partner. Do this sincerely – and soon you will notice that both of you cope with your relationships. and you will feel much better at this!