Mr. Dracula, why do you kill people and suck their blood?
If feels good and I’m hungry
Wouldn’t it be better to just shop at the grocery store?
I can’t go out during the day
But what about the 24 hour supermarket? Surely, before that, it would have been hard to argue with you, but in these modern times?
At first I did
And what all happened?
It just became too much of a burden, every night at 8 putting on the glasses. I was going through a divorce at the time as well
Yes, my ex
Sorry to bring it up
No no, it’s ok, I did
When is the last time you spoke with her?
Ever since she got an iphone, I can’t reach her, she only texts and I’m of the old school
Don’t you get lonely?
I’m used to the dark, I was raised there
So could it be these dark houses of yours in which you live, in a sense, harm your optimism?
I felt that way once, but these days I just do yoga
I heard that you used to be a big drug user, is that correct?
And now yoga instead of the drugs?
Mr. Dracula, America wants to know who you are, do you ever think that murdering people at night and sucking their blood is the best way to make friends?
It is not up to me to decide what the public believes, I live my life, people will believe what they want
Are you saying that you do not suck human blood?
No, I am saying that I do suck human blood, but peoples opinions about it are their own, or whatever
But do you plan to stop?
Not this year
Ok, Mr. Dracula, thank you for your time
No, thank you