My girlfriend and I couldn’t help but smile as we watched California Chrome almost win the Triple Crown at the Belmont Stakes. It wasn’t because the thoroughbred was fast or from California, but because he was wearing a king-sized nasal strip that we felt a special kinship.
You see, I’m a nasal strip guy and so is my girlfriend. Every night I have a ritual. I go to the bathroom medicine cabinet, open up the glass jar full of large-sized nasal strips, get two out and take them back to bed.
I usually put a nasal strip on my girlfriend’s pillow at night. You know, like nice hotels place chocolate treats on the pillow in your room–only my treat is only more practical. It’s a little reminder that I care about her, and that I’m thinking about her right before we go to bed. Very romantic, huh?
At 9pm we gently break open the nasal strip packaging and pull the paper apart. We wipe off our noses with an alcohol-soaked cotton ball and then we carefully place the sticky side of the nasal strip at the center of the nose. It’s that simple. We do it together, in unison, with a gigantic smile on our faces. That’s the romantic part of the nasal strip story.
The unromantic part of the story is that we both have chronic nasal congestion due to sinusitis and asthma. As a result of these issues, we both snore on a nightly basis. We need nasal strips because if we don’t wear them, we snore like wild boars, razorbacks, in fact. We snore so loud that we make paint peel from the walls. If it wasn’t for the nasal strips, the two of us would never get any sleep and would be grumpy and moody the next day.
If it weren’t for nasal strips, the both of us would be hooked up to a CPAP machine, having air forced into our throats, with a hose hooked up to our face so we could take in more oxygen at night. Not a very sexy look. If we had to wear a CPAP machine, we wouldn’t have much of a love life either.
Nasal strips are a godsend. They open up our airways, alleviates the nasal congestion, and creates improved breathing so we can sleep relatively snore-free. And, most importantly, we don’t keep each other awake at night snoring like wild boars.
Now, if only nasal strips could have helped California Chrome win the Triple Crown.