I am a very nice, and sometimes I’m a people pleaser. It is very hard for me to say no sometimes. I’ve learned over the years how to say “no” in a nice way. So if you are like me, here are a few tips.
Offer an alternative
When someone wants me to do something that I really don’t want or cant to do, you can offer an alternative. I’ll say “sorry, I can’t but I can (fill in the blank). I make sure that the alternative doesn’t sound unreasonable or not very helpful. Stress.about.com suggest “If you’re uncomfortable being so firm, or are dealing with pushy people, it’s OK to say, “Let me think about it and get back to you.” This gives you a chance to review your schedule, as well as your feelings about saying “yes” to another commitment, do a cost-benefit analysis, and then get back to them with a yes or no.”
Be thoughtfully honest
I don’t want to be so blunt to say I don’t want to do it or you can’t have It. So I am honest to say “I’m sorry I can’t, and explain why in a way they can understand. For example if someone wants to borrow my laptop, but I’m not sure if they will be responsible enough with it. I would say something like, I’m sorry I can’t because I need it for work and I don’t have a replacement. I’m still saying no, but in a thoughtful manner. Mayo Clinic reports “Saying no isn’t necessarily selfish. When you say no to a new commitment, you’re honoring your existing obligations and ensuring that you’ll be able to devote high-quality time to them.”
Walk away after saying “No”
Sometimes when you say “No”, people will keep asking until you give in. So if your able to, right after you saying your not able to, walk away if possible to avoid harassment.
Make sure you sound serious and unwavering in saying “No”. Mayo Clinic also reports Don’t agree to a request you would rather decline out of guilt or obligation. Doing so will likely lead to additional stress and resentment.”