Experts say that heartache after a breakup does not disappear immediately, this period can take anywhere from 3 months to 3 years. Timing of experiences for each person individually, but the stage of the process is always the same.
First, you get such a shock that you can not eat or sleep, then start a riot – an unwillingness to accept it, you develop a feverish activity, prompted by only one desire – to return a loved one. And finally, the last, longest and dangerous stage – depression. It can be expressed indifference to the outside world, in a drinking bout, care headlong into work, loss of interest in life.
Effective method that will save you from depression – is to draw a line on a sheet of paper, dividing it in half and then each half separately write all the qualities of a man who abandoned you – both positive and negative. And do not try to approach this bias, all features – both good and bad quote subjectively, that is, from your point of view …
For example, your favorite did not close the tube of toothpaste – is irresponsible! – In the negative qualities immediately! Or when he drank tea, sipped with relish – so it’s a real crime! – The black list in big letters! He kept forgetting to congratulate your mother on his birthday – it’s not even a disadvantage, but a vice! Be sure to note!
Needless to say that the list of negative qualities should grow, and positive – to shrink. Then tear off half the sheet where recorded dignity, and you only have a list of deficiencies. Read it carefully. And you will be surprised – how could you love this person? This recommendation is based on a psychological truth, which states: “If you can not change the situation, change their attitude to it.”
Psychologists, when talk about how to forget previous love during the depression, it is recommended to think about and try to understand what you are left behind in the relationship ended. On a sheet of paper, write what you were with someone you love: gentle, considerate, caring, cheerful, etc. A complete list, it should be read carefully, and then find yourself in these traits in real life, clearly tracking specific situations in which you show affection, care, attention, fun … The more often you’ll find a situation in which you show themselves precisely this, the faster you will tear those invisible threads that still bind you to him.