I know a man who has been married five times. During his fourth marriage, he claimed to have found the love of his life. He told everyone who would listen how blessed he was to finally be in a good marriage. That marriage lasted less than four years and within months after going through another divorce, the man married again.
I know another man who claimed a beautiful woman he was with was his soul-mate. Unfortunately, even though he had multiple chances with her, it never worked out between them. I also know of a woman who held on so tightly to the reigns of control in her marriage that finally, a very passive man (who she once claimed was her soul-mate) divorced her.
These people all claimed to have found their soul-mates. So, what does it mean that their relationships didn’t work out? Aren’t soul-mates supposed to be the one great love of our lives?
The movie ends (most of the time) with the couple happily united or reunited after facing major obstacles. We leave the theater believing in their love and in our minds they grow old together. We’ve been led to believe their great love for one another is the reason they will stay together. They were soul-mates.
This is the vision many have in their mind about the person, if they could only find them, who will complete them. Some travel the world in search of that person not knowing the answer lies much closer to home.
Soul-mate is a word. It’s just a word. After the euphoric bliss of falling in love begins to fade, we are faced with reality and the human being we have placed all our hopes and dreams on becomes just a human being again.
So, how do we go about having a lasting relationship? It’s work–mostly work on ourselves. The answer lies on the inside of our own hearts first–not in someone else’s. Can we humble ourselves enough to bend to the will of another? Can we look out for another’s best interests and place them above our own sometimes? If the answer is yes to those questions, the next question is just as important. Do we seek the kind of person who has enough integrity to do these things for us also?
Many blindly give their love to someone who will never understand what it is to truly give of themselves in return. Unfortunately, they will never have the kind of relationship they desire if they settle for such a person.
The secret to finding a soul-mate lies within you and it has to be in the other person too. The secret is this: A soul-mate is not someone you find but someone you become.