I was inspired to write this article after reading about a teen girl’s plight with her extra tall height, and the ridicule she received from “friends.” This 15-year-old girl, 5-10, wrote in to Yahoo! Answers and states:
My friends tell me I’ll never find a boyfriend. She also says, Boys around me constantly say how tall girls are ugly. Most disturbing, this teenager writes: I generally want to kill my self (sic) because that’s all I think about.
Oh, and she also says: All I get are negative comments.
Certainly, she isn’t the only very tall teen girl who gets continuous taunting. The girl above, as well as other tall teen girls in similar bully boats, need to come up with a tactic that will stop these insults dead in their tracks, a way to DISARM the bullies.
How can a very tall teen girl stop her bullies?
With these two words: “PROVE IT.” Before I elaborate, I want to first point out that this trick will work for only some types of ridiculing, but it will make a huge difference nevertheless.
The type of insult that this will work on are the overly-generalized statements (insults), such as:
“You’ll never get a boyfriend.”
“No man will ever want to marry you.”
“You’ll never get dates.”
“Tall girls are ugly.”
“Boys aren’t attracted to tall girls.”
Look the bully dead-smack in the eyes and say with a stern voice (like a teacher giving an order to a naughty student), “PROVE IT.”
Say nothing more. Keep looking dead into the bully’s eyes — even if the “bully” is your so-called friend. Stand your ground as you wait for the perplexed bully to come up with an answer that will make him or her sound smart.
Here’s what will happen: They will be tongue-tied. They won’t HAVE an answer. You caught them off-guard.
They will NOT be able to cite any population studies, demographic data or reference any other kind of data that proves their statement. They will not be able to cite any name of a research journal that verifies their statement. They will be left in a quandary, while you continue waiting for them to give an intelligent answer.
If the bully simply repeats the statement (and he or she just might do that, in an attempt to get one up on you), then come back with: “PROVE IT.” Then wait. You are the cat, and they are the mouse.
Have fun with this. The bully will soon begin buckling and will either go away or change the subject to something neutral. This is basic psychology. You just presented a very unprepared person with a challenge that he or she is totally unequipped to take on.
If the bully insults you the next day or a week later with a similar comment, do it again: “PROVE IT.”
If they sneer, “I don’t need proof! Everyone knows that tall girls don’t get boyfriends!” then calmly but sternly repeat: “PROVE IT.” Because you see, if they sneer back at you, they didn’t get ahead of you; they simply went around in a circle and put themselves in the same position of vulnerability. They may huff and puff and snort and scowl, but they will know they’ve been had!
The tall teen girl can stop these kinds of insults because the bully doesn’t want to keep being put in a position of proving an incredibly unfounded statement. But you must speak with the sternness of a strict school teacher. You must see the bully as a mouse and you as the cat.