So, I have to write something because if I don’t I will cry my eyes out all night. If he cheats, then what do I do? Do I sit here and cry all night? Do I think of his rather smallish endowment and feel sorry for the cheatress? The first time I caught him was in August 2013. I only surmised his bad behavior, but I was spot-on. He admitted it. The second time I caught him was on our anniversary, he posted identifying information on a website, and so I had my best friend call him and make a date. He begged for forgiveness. I thought if we could get through this maybe our relationship would be even stronger.
His excuse for straying was not something I had done or not done, but rather that he had a problem. He was going to begin going to meetings to rehabilitate himself. His premise for this was he never actually followed through with one of these trysts, but rather just called them on the phone and talked about it. I’m sure that is what he needed the box of condoms for that I found on the counter. Wow. That made me feel so much not better!
Just when I got to the point of once again caring, I again caught him online with some very large breasted blondie of my own age who was requesting only a $200 per hour “donation”. Donation?! In any event, I mulled it over and gave him back the diamond ring. I miss it. It looked good on my finger, but my heart is free from the worry. I was always of the frame of mind that if you took care of your man at home, he would not stray. He had even said he wouldn’t, and while I did take care of him in every way, he still cheated, and when I ask why, he doesn’t have an answer. I know in my heart that the relationship is over.
While he has been going to sex addicts meetings, I think the whole process is a ruse used by men to placate their women into thinking they are working on getting better. I just don’t under stand why sex is addictive. Yes, my heart hurts, but I know I will be okay. I just have to pick up the pieces while there are still some left to pick up.