We were celebrating the second anniversary of our first date in the same restaurant where we first met when my then boyfriend, Joe, surprised me by pulling a tiny box out of his pocket.
I took a deep breath as my heart started to pound. Could it be an engagement ring? But there were so so many times I hoped to receive a ring on my birthday or other special occasion and went home disappointed. I opened the box with trembling hands and saw the diamond sparkling in the dimly lit restaurant. Joe smiled and said the magic words: “Will you marry me?”
Of course, I said yes. Just then, our waitress returned to the table, saw the box and ran to the kitchen shrieking “the couple at table five just got engaged!”
We were married the next year and will celebrate our eighth anniversary in August. We’ve had our ups and downs like any other couple, but we still love each other. Together we’ve survived career changes, financial problems, the death of his mother and the cancer diagnosis of my mother (she later recovered). My experience shows that it’s important to be patient and let relationships develop at their own pace. If he’s really the right guy for you, then he’s worth waiting for.
Finding Love Online
Joe and I met online at Match.com. I liked his profile which showed that he went to church every Sunday, did occasional volunteer work and worked in a helping profession: at a residence for people with disabilities. Both of us practiced the same religion and were natives of Upstate New York, where we still live.
Our first date was dinner followed by a movie: the third installment of Lord of the Rings. Our relationship progressed to more dinner dates, nights at the opera and long hikes through the woods. We each met each other’s family. And then the questions started.
“When are you two getting married?” my family asked.
“It’s been a year,” my best friend told me. “How long are you going to wait?”
I didn’t want to push Joe. I figured if he wasn’t ready, then he wasn’t ready. We never argued about it. Still, I couldn’t help wondering whether I would ever have the title of Mrs. before my name.
Joe later told me that he had been thinking about proposing to me for at least a year. He hesitated because he feared I would turn him down.
Advice For Other Eager Brides-to-Be
Sometimes we get so caught up in choosing our wedding dress, the menu for the wedding and our honeymoon destination that we forget that a wedding lasts for just one day. But a marriage should last for a lifetime. This is a big step and one that should never be rushed.
Don’t push your guy to marry you. If you do, you may end up pushing him away. Be patient, and don’t let friends and family pressure you about when the two of you will finally tie the knot.
Take the time to really get to know him. Visit his family and friends. Go on a weekend trip or a vacation together. Give him the time and space that he needs.
Then, the night should come when it’s your turn to get a diamond ring during dinner. Just cover your ears when the waitress starts shrieking about your engagement.