It’s always been in my self-proclaimed future forecast to have six kids; since I was in sixth grade this has been my vision. But as my baby approaches her first birthday, I find myself in need of more time to come to terms with the thought of having more than one. It’s not that I’m scared of the additional responsibilities, or worried about being outnumbered. I’m just not ready to divide my attention between two.
I suppose this revelation has been instigated by my recent babysitting excursions. For the past two days I have been babysitting a three year old and a six month old, with my baby by my side. Needless to say, it was quite the juggling act. Diapers, feedings, tantrums, toys, potty-training, naps, and volatility were all in the mix, and I had to coordinate everything just right lest there be a catastrophe. I was better acclimated to the situation by the second day, but I still struggled with fairly distributing and deploying my attention amongst the three of them. The toddler wanted all of my attention (all of the time), mistook me for a jungle gym, and acted like a baby so that he would get the same treatment as the other two. The six month old was pretty low-maintenance for a baby, but was still a baby. He needed to be fed, changed, held and given tummy-time. My baby did surprisingly well with the help of new toys and stimuli; I mainly had to worry about keeping her out of harm’s way (the toddler).
After successfully surviving two full days of this meticulous orchestration, I should have been satisfied with my efforts. However, as a person who likes doing things one-hundred percent, it was hard for me to reconcile my high standards with being spread so thin. This dilemma is what ultimately led me to the realization that I am not yet ready to have more than one child.
Mackenzie will be the only “only child” I’ll ever have, and I adore her so much that I’m not ready to take that title away from her. I still would eventually like to have more kids, but they’re just going to have to be spread out a little further apart than I originally expected. Because you only get to have one once; and after two mere days of having three, I’ve learned that I’m content with one for the time being.