Today I saw your face so bright and shinning, proud of us all and a happy mom. For a moment in time, it seemed kind of silly that each one had a special moment. Today, I understand why.
Dealing with the grief of a loss so sudden can tear our hearts out each and every day. Learning to move on and trusting another is the most difficult of all. To lose a mother so young seems unfair. To understand reasons unknown can be the hardest on a life so young and bare.
In a moment, I saw your smiling face. I heard a voice so strong and bright. It took me back to a time where all was right and we saw you each night. I have come to understand that my loss is permanent but I have failed to feel a loss so deep. I keep you quietly tucked away; no harm will come to my memory today.
In better days, I may have laughed it off, but today of all days, your presence is surely lost. I could never understand the years you told me that as a man, I would go on. It was not until your departure that I felt the words. It wasn’t until in my memory you would live on, a space so void of your smiling face, a heart so hurt and a life so short; I came to understand that now I must be a man.
Your loss was so sudden, no time for goodbyes, only tears filled my eyes. I prayed night and day to make it all go away. I wasn’t ready for the sad goodbye; I wasn’t ready for you to wait on the other side.
I am much too young to live without your love; I am much too young to miss you so. There was no warning, no way to see that you wouldn’t be here with me. Thoughts of my future seem dim and bleak. Without you to share in so many memories, I don’t know where I will truly be.
I wish there was time, any time would have done, a warning so great that you would only be
In time, our memories will replace our grief. Once acknowledged and known, time will begin to heal our soul. While questions and regrets will always live, know that in the end she went with our love in her hand. Though time could not understand the need for a moment, our memories will go on.
As a special request to John Clayton and all other children, teenagers and young adults who have lost a mother, I have tried to capture the only thing left. The memories will always live on. There will never be a day when it is truly okay. Love and life will carry you through for your happiness is all she sought. Thank you for trusting in me to write something so near and dear to a heart so heavy with fear. There can be no answers as to why, nor can one seek a final goodbye. It is only within our hearts that we can learn to go on with only the memories.