We come into this world loving ourselves, eager to do and experience all the things life has to offer. Along the way we receive feedback from those around us that either enforces this carefree, positive outlook on life or which chips away at it, leading to low self-esteem and depression.
There are many people in life who for one reason or another just cannot stand for you to be happy. Maybe they were abused, or had their hearts broken, but somehow they decided that since they aren’t happy, no one else should be either. They get so wrapped up in hate and pain that they forget how to be anything but nasty to their fellow human beings. These people will do or say anything to break you down because it gives them the only pleasure they capable of experiencing.
Haters will lie to your face, whether they believe it themselves or not, hoping that you will believe what they have to say. Sometimes it is to provoke you into attacking them so that now they can play the victim. They will lie to your friends, destroy your stuff, and make life as unpleasant for you as possible. Gossip, bullying, and physical destruction are among the ways to recognize them.
One (or more) of the voices in your head could be a hater. I still hear my stepfather’s voice at times telling me I’m stupid and ‘bad’. (By the way, I made all A’s until college level calculus.) Thankfully it’s just a whisper now, but I had to work for years to lower the volume.
Positive people, on the other hand, lift you up in good times and bad. They celebrate your victories and lend a shoulder to cry on when you fail. They know what it’s like to be happy and want everybody else to be happy too. Not the syrupy fake kind, either. They see your potential and guide you toward choices that improve your life. They build you up and help you pick up the pieces. Kind words, hugs, and delicious baked goods are some of their trademarks.
Lovers stand up for you. They show compassion and make you laugh. They will give you the shirt off their backs when life throws you a curve ball. They make lemonade out of lemons. They are dreamers who want you to dream because they know yours can’t diminish theirs. Success flows to them because they allow it and look for it and expect to find it.
At times, you may find yourself alone in a sea of haters. When this happens, you must be brave enough to love yourself even if you have to do it silently. Hold your head high and smile, because soon the universe will bring you better people and the haters will fade away.
Somewhere along the line, you have to make a choice which side you’re going to listen to. Actually, you must keep making that choice, for good or ill, because you are constantly exposed to other people and their opinions. Unless you’re on an otherwise deserted island. But since you’re not, you need to surround yourself with the kind of people you want to be like and limit your exposure to haters.
Your happiness and dreams depend on it.