My God is an awesome God. Creator of heaven and earth. Have you ever stood in amazement how a simple thing like a cloud carries so much water, yet you and I can walk straight through it? Or that clouds rub each other to create lightning? Yet it is not solid. That something as simple as a plant ensures that you and I breathe? We take simple things like these for granted. We have become God and we don’t see the bigger picture anymore.
This article is not about the wonders we are missing though, it is about deep-rooted pain one cannot deny. Earth is a suffering for most of us. We are bombarded with negatives, from the sensation seeking media to the way we teach our children. Don’t do this, do that. We became slaves of our own destiny. A destiny that will disallow most of us a place in heaven. Churches are to blame as well for this sad state of affairs. They preach forgiveness on one hand, but justice must prevail. How does one differentiate between good and evil? Is it societal norms that preach we have to live a certain way. Murderers are what they are; murderers. Thieves are what they are; thieves. Or is it only a norm skew society who is driven this way.
I am a Christian and I am a sinner. Jesus died for my sins on the cross in horrific circumstances; only for you and me to forget this ultimate sacrifice. God’s true love is one of passion and grit, He still believes in all of us through that one single act of forgiveness. I defrauded someone of $60 000 over an 18 month period. The immediate reaction will be sit and rot and jail. Their immediate reaction is give us back our money, now. These are Christian people as well, rich Christians in fact. The truth of the matter is I obviously do not have that type of money. The money wasn’t used either for addictions of any kind. It was used to provide for my family. I had to protect my wife and my children from a community who shunned them. From a community who blamed her for her fiancée’s suicide. There are to this day still members in that community vying for blood. They are like bloodthirsty werewolves and will not stop until they have destroyed us. You see my dilemma; there is no way that I can allow them to destroy my family. She has been hurt enough and subjected to ridicule enough. Enough is enough. It doesn’t end there though. My former employers, the Christians, are so mocked up in their earthly possessions and revenge, that they have told this story to that community already. Those who were vying for blood, will most probably be on my doorstep not too long from now. The fact is I cannot give them the money for I have nothing. I believe in restitution all the way. However, restitution over time is the fair practice here. One of the owners asked me to help him not fall into the black hole and allow the devil to take over. What? The real starting point should be I forgive you, not the emotional one, but the act. Whichever way I look at it, there’s no way out. My pain on earth is excruciating; I cannot allow them to disrupt my wife nor ridicule Christ the way they are. I have always maintained that I will die for two things in my life without blinking an eye. God and my family. If they are in danger, I will exchange my life for them to be safe. People are bloodthirsty. People can use any Scripture of you need to be punished for your sins. You see, I will become worse in jail. The things that are most important to me would have been taken away. God knows that I love Him with all my heart, with all my soul and with all of me. If people go against His will of forgiveness, then I will better assist Him in heaven as an angel than being thrown to the wolves on earth by the devil. Secondly, I love my wife as one should love someone, with my whole being. God gave me true love. I love my son, who is incidentally head boy, with everything. My ex wife and I has really done a good job here. He excels in academics and sport, our relationship has grown exponentially over the past year. I have always clung to that idea and I wish I could explain to you how many times I cried myself to sleep and the longing I had for him. Now I have it and now this. I love my wife’s children as my own. She struggled in raising them alone, but she did it, that is exactly why I did what I did too. She deserved all the support I could give her. Moreover, I did it. I cannot allow these people to hurt her or them. I had the perfect life the last year.
I married my true love and found true love through God in her. I saw her pain and suffering and I just wanted to protect her from that pain and suffering; give her chance to heal. I fixed my relationship with my son and man I feel so grateful for that. He needs to have a memory of his father that is support on the sport field and pride in all his achievements. I love my God and He has never failed me. I have failed Him often, but not this time. It is in His hands now. Whether He sends His angels of mercy through a miracle or whether the devil and his comrades come to try to destroy everything I love. I have repented before God my sin and to them I have done harm, although it didn’t even touched their riches. God has forgiven me, they haven’t. I offered restitution, but they want it all now. I just do not have it. God will provide and show me the way. It is both changing souls forever to believe in Christ our Lord or it is going to heaven and becoming one of His angels. In my case, incarceration will do no good, because I have built my perfect world and I lived it, that’s all I ever wanted. I believe in the good of people, for all people in my view were good. I have an exceptionally good heart and will do no-one harm physically except myself. Therefore, my reasoning makes sense to me. I stole from people who are not Christian as they cannot forgive, that I have repented and my sins are forgiven by My Savior, Jesus Christ and God our Father. That whatever happens in the next few days will be God’s will.
My memories will always be one of my 12-year-old son, which is head boy and excels in everything he touches. I will not be able to do this from jail. It will always include my wife who I love so so much until death do us part. I will not be able to do this from jail. It will always include my other children who is so dear to my heart and whom I love with everything. I will not be able to do this from jail. It will always include my God whom I really love with my everything. He needs me not in jail, but with Him in heaven or devoted to His work forever on earth. For I am a human, with mistakes, but I am not bad. My created world is now perfect, but the devil and his colleagues just don’t want to leave me alone. I am bipolar and this is my world. My faith in God is strong, my protection of my family is pertinent. This is not about me, for I deserve death and be with God than rather be shunned.