I read in a celebrity gossip magazine how Beyonce had lost 20 pounds quickly by cleansing. I wanted to lose some weight, and the cleanse seemed to take care of the problem of waiting for a sensible diet plan to take effect. So for the next seven days (it was supposed to be 10, see below), I survived on lemon juice, cayenne pepper, maple syrup and laxative tea. Here are the things I wish I had had known before attempting to cleanse myself.
1. People think that you are strange. Even if you explain to them the plan, and tell them that you are going to lose weight fast, and talk about toxins, most people think that you’re a bit crazy. They will tell you this while eating something delicious, while you sip your lemonade concoction. Be prepared for little support, unless they are suffering through it with you.
2. The lemonade is not that great. At first, I think that most people either love or hate the unique, spicy-sweet-sour mixture, but only consuming that really gets to you after a while. At the end of several days, the smell of lemons made me feel nauseous. Even though it was the only thing I could eat, the taste was just too off-putting.
3. You might need to stop early. I think that in the end, my experience with the Master Cleanse was not a test of willpower, but a test of my health. On day seven, I sat down and was too dizzy to stand back up again. That’s when I knew that guzzling another few bottles of lemonade wasn’t going to make me feel better. I had lost about 5 pounds, but I didn’t feel good or healthy, just tired and listless. So, on the morning of day seven I had a candy bar for breakfast.
4. After the cleanse, food tastes weird. After I ate that candy bar, I felt even sicker. This is the one thing I think was actually true of the cleanse, that it made me more aware of artificial ingredients. Because I had been eating only natural foods, tasting artificial ingredients again was weird. It took me a few days to being able to eat anything but fruit and veggies again without feeling sick.
5. You gain all the weight back. After I stopped cleansing, I happily zipped up my skinny jeans, but had to put them back in the closet a week later. Sadly, what takes only a week to lose takes only a week to gain back.
Overall, I would not recommend the Master Cleanse as a form of weight loss. The effects on my health just weren’t worth it for weight that just came right back.
This cleanse comes from Stanley Burroughs’ book, The Master Cleanser.